Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-25-2013, 09:39 PM   #1
Genetic Defect
difetosso
 
Genetic Defect's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Perry
Location: An elevator
Posts: 5,202
Trading: (5)
VR
Genetic Defect has disabled reputation
Default the story of uncle Bob

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't f*ck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
__________________
I'm an outcast riding into town alone
I got wanderlust branded deeper than the bone
Genetic Defect is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-2013, 09:41 PM   #2
BHalbrooks
Have My Own Room
 
BHalbrooks's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
First Name: B
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,122
Trading: (5)
SP CoastGuard (Active)
BHalbrooks has a spectacular aura aboutBHalbrooks has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: the story of uncle Bob

BHalbrooks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-2013, 09:44 PM   #3
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: the story of uncle Bob

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:17 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.