Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-20-2013, 02:29 PM   #1
dwoodward
Gentlemen, you may smoke!
 
dwoodward's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
First Name: Derrick
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,868
Trading: (26)
HUpmann
dwoodward will become famous soon enoughdwoodward will become famous soon enough
Default Confession

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at
work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my
baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?"
Boy - "$1,000"

The father says, "That's terrible to over charge your friends like
that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that **** again; you're in my closet now."
dwoodward is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 02:32 PM   #2
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: Confession

__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 02:45 PM   #3
The Poet
Il megglior fabbro
 
The Poet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
First Name: Thomas
Location: Hickory, NC
Posts: 8,420
Trading: (2)
The Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud of
Default Re: Confession

I don't get it.



I guess that's a good thing, as I don't have a thousand bucks to spare.
__________________
Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.
The Poet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 02:48 PM   #4
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Confession

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 02:59 PM   #5
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Confession

__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 03:48 PM   #6
jjefrey
Still Watching My Back
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
First Name: Jeff
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 117
Trading: (1)
jjefrey has disabled reputation
Default Re: Confession

jjefrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 04:10 PM   #7
EricF
Ain't Never Gonna Leave
 
EricF's Avatar
10
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Eric
Location: Miramar, FL
Posts: 7,004
Trading: (116)
RA
EricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to beholdEricF is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Confession

__________________
It might taste crummy, but at least it's huge.
EricF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 04:52 PM   #8
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Confession

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 07:15 PM   #9
maninblack
Will smoke for food
 
maninblack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Kevin
Location: Where the hoot owls f$ck the chickens
Posts: 10,637
Trading: (80)
Partagas
maninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to beholdmaninblack is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Confession

Freaking classic!!!
__________________
Proud member of the GMCGTPWHAFA
maninblack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 08:32 PM   #10
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: Confession

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 09:05 PM   #11
HollywoodQue
Invictus
 
HollywoodQue's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Howard
Location: In the "D"
Posts: 3,123
Trading: (46)
Bolivar Navy (Served With Honor)
HollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really nice
Default Re: Confession

__________________
HollywoodQue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2013, 09:20 PM   #12
Bondo 287
Runaway Train
 
Bondo 287's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
First Name: Mikael
Location: Unstable, PA
Posts: 389
Trading: (0)
Cohiba
Bondo 287 will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Confession

This one qualifies as art.
Bondo 287 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2013, 10:46 AM   #13
Dave128
Sexy Dave
 
Dave128's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Dave
Location: Voorheesville, NY
Posts: 3,922
Trading: (4)
Dave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really nice
Default Re: Confession

That's awesome!
__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
I "heart" Boobies and Beer!
Dave128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:30 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.