arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?

[Devanmc]

i dont mean to start some angry flame war or piss anyone off but i have a legitimate question for the masses here.

Keeping the story short, my step-brother-in-law has recently moved into the house. I am 21 he is 29 or 30(i cant remember) We seem to have arguments about anything from cigars, cars, beer and home maintenance or anything. when they happen we both normally will think we are right, as in any argument starts. 90% of the time i will pull out my phone or laptop and look up the facts on what we are arguing about.

This is where the trouble starts. If the facts show that he is right. Then cool argument over i concede and he goes on his marry way. If I am correct he continues to argue about how he has more experience then me, i dont know what im talking about and that where i found my information from is BS. Any number of things but downright refuses until physically proven wrong.

this brings up my question. Over a few beers this weekend, a friend of mine asked if he had gone to college. which he has not. While i have been to college and done extensive training in the military. She(a 3rd year psych under-grad) then brought up that college changes how you think about information or situations. Also making you more likely to accept relearning something you thought you knew. Does this seem to be a good or possible explanation for what is going on between us or is it something else?

Id just like to understand this better. As getting into an argument or discussion where when right the other person basically just calls you a moron pisses me off.

thanks for your time fellas


* added for wayner123

my BIL and step-sister fell on hard times when he lost his job as a carpenter in Vegas. Thats the short and simple of it.

[Remo]

Wish I could help you Devan, but since I am never wrong I can't really help

[TBone]

Originally Posted by Remo_5_0

Wish I could help you Devan, but since I am never wrong I can't really help

I'm with Mike I'm wrong once a year and that usually falls on my birthday...nothing I can do for you

[markem]

Don't get in to an argument with him. Just tell him it isn't worth the stress.

One does not have to go to college to be educated and many uneducated people have degrees.

[kelmac07]

Originally Posted by markem

One does not have to go to college to be educated and many uneducated people have degrees.

Mark hit the nail on the head right here.

But on the lighter side Devan...Boats 'N Hoes!!

[neoflex]

Sounds to me like you are living in a house with too many personalities and you two just like to argue with one another for one reason or another whether you both have dominant personalities or deep down you get on each others nerves. I don't think the college/non-college argument may be the case as mentioned previous there are some pretty sharp people without degrees and vice versa.
My wife and I at one time between moves made the mistake of moving in to her mothers house while waiting for the apartment we would be moving into at the time to be finished being renovated. That was the longest three weeks of my life as her sister and husband were living there as were her brother and wife. Fortunately we would be getting in and out while they were there for the long haul but I found that we all argued over everything, mostly petty BS because there were just too many people living amongst each other. Once we left our relationships with them went back to normal where the rest that were still living there and continued to bicker over everything and I think now that everyone has gone their separate ways they still have some ill will toward each other because they lived like that for so long. Sounds to me that you two will continue to argue if living under the same roof together. Hopefully you guys can either patch up what seems like some sort of deep down resentment toward each other or one of you moves before it ends up effecting the relationship permanently as the longer it goes on the more you two will resent one another. I could be totally off base on this one but just giving you an opinion from experience.

[Remo]

Some people just can't be wrong Devan, sounds like your BIL has a hard time with being wrong so he will continue the argument just to piss you off, just don't argue with him, walk away and it will really make him mad.

[massphatness]

My opinion only, but book learnin' ain't got nuthin' to do with how open minded a person may or may not be to new ideas.

[Brutus2600]

Originally Posted by Remo_5_0

Some people just can't be wrong Devan, sounds like your BIL has a hard time with being wrong so he will continue the argument just to piss you off, just don't argue with him, walk away and it will really make him mad.

Originally Posted by massphatness

My opinion only, but book learnin' ain't got nuthin' to do with how open minded a person may or may not be to new ideas.

I have a couple of friends who are both college graduates...but can never be wrong in an argument. Some people are just like that. Occasionally I find myself in a heated discussion with them and even though I know I'm right, it's easier to just accede to them and let it die. Some other times people just argue to get under your skin. Either way it sounds like it might be easier to just avoid heated discussions/debates/arguments with the guy.

[Doctorossi]

I think college can definitely expand one's horizons, help you understand how much you don't know and, maybe gain a bit of humility and flexibility in the process.

However, this product of a college education is by no means guaranteed and some people are just going to be stubborn in the face of a challenge, whatever they encounter. I can't tell you which kind of guy your step-brother-in-law is, but I'm glad it appears you have a good humor about the whole thing.

[wayner123]

The story you held back, which caused him to move in, may be a major factor to why he is so belligerent.

[Emjaysmash]

Being in college right now, I can tell you just because someone is in college doesn't mean they aren't heard headed, stubborn, and resolve to flat out be a dick when he doesn't get his way.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by massphatness

My opinion only, but book learnin' ain't got nuthin' to do with how open minded a person may or may not be to new ideas.

Originally Posted by Doctorossi

I think college can definitely expand one's horizons, help you understand how much you don't know and, maybe gain a bit of humility and flexibility in the process.

However, this product of a college education is by no means guaranteed and some people are just going to be stubborn in the face of a challenge, whatever they encounter. I can't tell you which kind of guy your step-brother-in-law is, but I'm glad it appears you have a good humor about the whole thing.

Originally Posted by Emjaysmash

Being in college right now, I can tell you just because someone is in college doesn't mean they aren't heard headed, stubborn, and resolve to flat out be a dick when he doesn't get his way.

[Ranger_B]

Just ignore him. If he is right or wrong just let it go. If you are going into an argument with a person who can not be wrong let him continue to believe his opinion over the fact. Then your not mad and he is still happy.

[Devanmc]

for the last 2 posts, i really try to not argue with him as i know its useless. The problem comes when we have to work on something. whether i need help with my car(im 5' 6" 135 he is 6' 1" like 210 sometimes i need more strength) , or he does with his. Most recently been refinishing my mothers bathroom. i have learned something have the facts and such to back it up but he just wont accept that it needs to be this way, this is needed or any number of things. Then when im right and it has to be re-done he wont even accept it. I guess he is just someone who refuses to be wrong.

[Tio Gato]

Do you know what the difference between In-Laws and Out-Laws is?

Out-Laws are wanted. I can sympatize Devan. I've got a few BIL's that really make it a point that they don't want to have anything to do with my wife's family, until they need money.

I have one BIL that sounds so much like yours. Well educated, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. He just always has the need to be "right". I've known him for 19 years and so many in the family have to walk on eggshells around him. In the last 8 years or so I've found that if I don't disagree with him we get along fine. I try to find a topic of discussion that he can "educate" me on. He eats that stuff up like the icecream that fatty eats. I do it for his wife that i adore. He's much better with the family but still rides his wife over every little thing. It makes me want to puke.

Being under the same roof must really suck. My wife's brother and his 3 young boys moved in with her in her 2 bedroom apartment and stayed for years. He has never thanked her for supporting him and the nephews for that time. Never, but he still acts like he's better and smarter than the rest of the family and siblings. (He just lost his million dollar plus home and the bride and I had a good chuckle. Even though that's probably wrong.)

Don't even get me started about my sister's husdand. Our mom took years to die from cancer and that A-H never even called never mind visit. He sleeps to 2 PM, takes a long nap, makes my sister cook him dinner about 10 PM , then goes out drinking all night.

Had to share that you are not alone. You need to remember something important. It's your house, you're the boss, and he's your guest. Don't let him piss you off. He should be kissing your feet and buying you a nice box of cigars once a week. Maybe pay some rent too.

You can pick your ass, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family.

Chin up, smile, and start leaving the apartment listings out on the table.
Stay strong.

[Devanmc]

Originally Posted by Tio Gato

Had to share that you are not alone. You need to remember something important. It's your house, you're the boss, and he's your guest. Don't let him piss you off. He should be kissing your feet and buying you a nice box of cigars once a week. Maybe pay some rent too.

You can pick your ass, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family.

Chin up, smile, and start leaving the apartment listings out on the table.
Stay strong.

well its not technically my house. Its my step-father(basically my dad) and mothers house, But i grew up here. If that counts for anything. He does owe me a box of cigars for fixing his truck when they arrived here from vagas

thanks for sharing though, atleast i know it could be much worse with him

[icehog3]

Ain't worth it.

"You're right. See ya".

[neoflex]

If that's the case than it could be that he's just a d*ck!

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by icehog3

Ain't worth it.

"You're right. See ya".