Funny questions

[RightAJ]

Got this email today, thought some of them were funny

aj

> QUESTIONS
>
>
>
> Can
> you cry under water?
>
>
> How important does a person have to be
> before they are considered assassinated instead of just
> murdered?
>
>
> Why do you have to 'put your two
> cents in'... but it's only a 'penny
> for your
> thoughts'? Where's that extra
> penny going
> to?
>
>
>
>
> Once
> you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes
> you were buried in for
> eternity?
>
>
> Why does a
> round pizza come in a square box?
>
>
> What
> disease did cured ham actually have?
>
>
> How is it
> that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
> be a good idea to put
> wheels on luggage?
>
> Why
> is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when
> babies wake up like every
> two hours?
>
>
> If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
> called a hearing?
>
>
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON
> TV?
>
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then
> put money in binoculars to look at things on the
> ground?
>
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you
> change?
> They're
> going to see you naked anyway...
>
>
> Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties'
> plural?
>
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns
> the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
> would
> eat?
>
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
> there a stupid song about
> him?
>
>
>
> If
> the professor on Gilligan's
> Island can make a radio out of a
> coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a
> boat?
>
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
> remains on all fours?
> They're
> both dogs!
>
>
> If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
> ACME crap, why didn't he just buy
> dinner?
>
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil
> is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made
> from?
>
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
> come from morons?
>
>
> Do the Alphabet
> song and
> Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
> tune?
>
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs
> above?
>
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
> the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in
> your
> butt?
>
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
> face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car
> ride, he sticks his
> head out the window?
>
> Why,
> Why, Why
>
>
>
>
> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
> know the batteries are getting dead?
>
> Why
> do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when
> they know there is not enough
> money?
>
> Why
> does someone believe
>
> you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
> when you say the paint
> is wet?
>
>
>
>
> Why
> do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
> injection?
>
> Why
> doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>
> Why
> does Superman stop
> bullets with his chest, but
> ducks when you throw a revolver at
> him?
>
> Why
> do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>
> Whose
> idea was it to put an 'S' in the word
> 'lisp'?
>
> If
> people evolved from apes,
> why
> are there still apes?
>
> Why
> is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use
> the bubbles are always
> white?
>
> Is
> there ever a day that mattresses
> are
> not on sale?
>
> Why
> do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
> that something new to
> eat will have materialized?
>
> Why
> do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
> their vacuum cleaner,
> then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down
> to give the vacuum one
> more chance?
>
> Why
> is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your
> first
> try?
>
> How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed
> light fixtures?
>
> When
> we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
> shopping cart then
> apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all
> right?' Well, it isn't all
> right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why
> don't you watch where you're
> going?'
>
> Why
> is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
> that's falling off the table
> you always manage to knock something else over?
>
> In
> winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
> summer when we
> complained about the heat?
>
> How
> come you never hear father-in-law
> jokes?

[Parshooter]

Hmmm, let me get back to you.

[icehog3]

This is why my e-mail has a spam filter, AJ.

[G G]

[Mr.Erskine]

*sigh* Alas, I have answers to all of those, but I still don't know what makes middle-schoolers tick.

[Skywalker]

This one was my favorite!!!

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Funny stuff there!!!