Excerpts from a dog & cats diary

[MedicCook]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to
use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now ..

That's funny.