Re: Cheer me up
What's sex like on camping trips? In tents (say it out loud)
A pirate walks into his old bar after a long voyage and sits down at the bar. The bartender greets him happily and says "Hey! Welcome back, I haven't seen you in a long time! Looks like a lot has happened..." as he gestures to the pirate's peg leg, hook, and eye patch.
The pirate responds "Arrg, it's been quite a journey" to which the bartender asks "Well start with what happened to your leg!"
"Yar," says the pirate, "I was boarding our first ship that we caught, and as I was crossing between ships I fell overboard into shark infested water. Shark got me leg."
The bartender exclaimed "Wow! That's awful! Well tell me what happened to your hand!"
Gesturing with an imaginary sword the pirate replied "Me matey's and I were in a vicious sword fight with a rival pirate crew, and my hand got cut clean off!"
"Unbelievable..." said the bartender. "Well of course, I have to know how you lost your eye! Was it another sword fight? Cannon shrapnel? Tell me!"
The pirate muttered quietly, obviously embarrassed "No, 'twas a seagull, it pooped in me eye."
"What? How could seagull poop put out your eye?" yelled the bartender.
The pirate responded...
"Twas the first day I had me hook."
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