Glad I came upon this thread right now because immediately to my left is:
Cell Phone
scissors
2 heavy pens
Gil Hibben fantasy knife with a nice large blade
3in Case pocket knife
Highlander Dirk by Marto (10 inch blade weighs about 6 pounds)
and best of all, my old Stevens .410 shotty with a full box of shells
I'm slow but I could last a little while anyway.