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4. If they are not "stupid" then they can not be a Mets fan.
You might argue that my last statement is merely an assumption as well, but I'm telling you...a man HAS TO BE STUPID to be a Mets fan! This is a fact. 
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Well, I dunno about that...there is the whole nature vs. nurture controversy. Could be in the Genetic programming...could be out of some sort of misguided loyalty to a childhood influence...It could be some form of masochistic self inflicted punishment for percieved sins of a misguided youth...it could carry an element of "I Hate the Yankees, therefore I must like the Mets."
Now, many Mets fans bear their cross with dignity and calm...some keep the success and failure of that team at arm's length. Some, grounded in reality, decide that they like the Mets, but don't have realistic hopes for any sort of real success. They get along just fine.
But there are those, like Mac, wearing his heart on his sleeve and a Mets logo on his ballcap, who dream about a return to greatness...who actually looked up in an encyclopedia somewhere that the Mets have actually won the World Series, have actually had years where they didn't crumble down the stretch...and who bear true faith and allegiance to the same...unnaturally loyal, steadfast in their orange and blue dreams of playoff contention, who every April say "THIS is the year!"...and hold that faith until September or so...and the cruelest trick of fate send them crashing into a depression.
These are the Kelmacs of the world. They are dangerously close to the brink of self immolation every time ESPN announces that they are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, that they are not going to get that Wildcard berth. Mac even stated that he's willing to give up Cigars to see if that changes the luck the Mets are having. This is why we must step up and come to his aid. the Kelmac comfort crusade... 1 Stick per loss until the end of the season. Who's in?