Thread: Facts of Life
View Single Post
Old 05-11-2012, 06:16 AM   #1
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Facts of Life

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you after you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but always remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.


THERE YOU HAVE IT..
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote