Congratulations, Jesse. You've got an incredible experience ahead.
When my daughter was born, I had the fortune to take off work for a year. I spent every second with her. I fed her at night, changed all the diapers, held her, taught her.
She's literally become me, but surpassed me in a million different ways.
She's taken the benefit of my years and employed them in her life at an age where I was doing all the wrong things, learning hard lessons.
I've always let her do as she wishes and suffer the consequences. That's the very hardest part of being a parent. You tell them to quit climbing around on the folding chair because they'll pinch their fingers, then you have to sit back and let them pinch their fingers, even if it means a trip to the hospital for stitches.
That child has taught me more about being a decent human being than anyone ever possibly could. That's because she has my heart, and I have hers.
It's the greatest show on earth, hang on tight.
So far as Gabe goes, I've got four step-children. I treat every one as if they were my own. That's not to say I steam-rolled in and put my foot down, I've worked very hard to learn them, understand them, support them, talk to them, and let them know they're loved. Each step-child is a work in progress.
You've got an extra challenge with Gabe, that's his biological father. Regardless of what he is, he'll always be special to Gabe in Gabe's eyes. That relationship needs to play out the way it plays out so that Gabe will learn from it. In the meantime, your job is to show him what a real father brings. Unconditional Love. It's no matter whatever how Gabe's relationship with his father plays out. That's theirs. Don't EVER say anything against his father for any reason. Ever. Respect that special relationship and rather than telling Gabe what it should be like, show him.
You're a father now and you're the man of the house. Marry that woman and assume your role. Regardless of what she says or what you think you think, it changes everything. Right now you're a house divided. From the day you place a ring on that woman's finger, she will forever be your wife and mother of your child, as one, together. It's a huge difference that you can't begin to fathom until you've done it.
May God's strength and Love bind you all.
