After going through the hell of this in the last few years, the best solution I can suggest is to go see the bank, explain the situation, and see if an interest-only loan would be acceptable to them.
You'd lose your ass for a period of time, but that cost will save your credit.
I'd not hang my hopes on the market rebounding. It's not trending and not likely.
Hopefully an interest only loan will buy you time, whether it be what you guys need to reconcile, or time for you to find some other options.
Just be patient and know that the bank does not want your property. They'll be as inventive as they can possibly be.
Prayers for you and your wife, my brother. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, and I hope you and the wife can resolve your differences.