[Bunker]

We just moved into a new office designed by the German owners with all the coziness of a hospital waiting room.

No more high cube walls (I stare at the back of the head geek's monitor) no quiet or privacy without leaving the room. To the right of me is the effeminiate head of customer support (complete with rainbow stickers on his briefcase), right behind me is an ugly woman with a face like a mastiff who does customer installs over the phone.

At her quietest she is two decibels higher than necessary requiring headphones to work when she is on a call (she said the word "database" 600 times in an hour the other day). She also eats at her desk and I can hear her nasty lips smacking as she stares at the back of my head.

In exchange for her the phlegmy Asian man with the deviated septum is now a few desks away from me after 5 years next to me hacking snot all day.

The idea is easy teamwork as we no longer need a conference room to work together. I spend the day listening to sports radio through my Blackberry (we were told no streaming music so save bandwidth).

The only upside is a pair of Luvia coffee/expresso/cappuchino makers (similar to Keurig).