Glad to see you aboard, Dom!!!
My diet amounts to "don't eat much", and that works. I don't sit in a cube though, and I have no ideas for you. I'd munch through the boredom, but I chew snuff. I'd suggest chewing snuff, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone, cause once it's got ya, it's got ya for life.
I eat total sh1t and Lisa always dogs me about it. I lose weight cause I don't eat much. I drink TONS of water. There's something you could add. That and sugarless gum. Both things would cut into your caloric intake real hard.
How you'll work in some exercise is beyond me. All your waking hours that aren't sleep would have to be active. My old lady says "if you have time to watch tv, you have time to exercise". I wish she'd find a nice way to put it.
You're gonna be tough to help, but the beauty of having so much extra weight is that it's super easy to lose a lot, fast. Mind ya, fast is about 1.5 pounds a week.
The guys will have some good suggestions. If they don't, a good solid snuff, crank, or cocaine habit could do wonders.