[mosesbotbol]

Mazel Tov to taking on such a responsibility. There will be a place in heaven for such good deeds.

I have no experience in such issues, but I would wait as long as you can before she can see him; even if that is several years. Let the child grow in a nuturing and protective enironment and then I think you'll be able to determine what is appropriate down the road for him.

It's going to take some time for him to grow above this, but with grown kids and strong family as you sound like, I think he'll end up fine. I would caution pandering too child much like he's damaged goods. Treat him as normal and be a good parent as I know you will be.