[Chingas]

Ahh, William, Welcome to our little slice of Paradise. Sure, it's brutally cold outside and the grey skies and the feeling of your bones shattering at every step you take is enough to make you pray for Death, I can assure you this is only the beginning. It gets better from here. You'll notice that you'll need to wait for the young lady behind the counter at CVS to get off her phone before she attempts to ring you up.

You'll notice that, much like Alaska, the sky will stay dark for months at a time before the sun finally comes back to play in late April and then you'll be greeted by 45 days of rain, exciting, yes?

You'll notice that breathing is harder and your lungs seem to be getting the workout of a lifetime, no worries, they are, and you're most likely gonna be taking a little token of cancer back with you, it's all good Brother. Like a parting gift.

You'll notice that the people in line for their morning coffee DO NOT want to talk about the weather or the latest news stories. That look of serial killer will certainly be the last thing you see if you don't leave them alone and cease conversation immediately.

Things are different in Jersey. Don't drive to slow, you'll surely get the finger and the horn. If you choose to drive slow, take the bird from the right lane, so we can pass your slow ass! Jersey is like a very well laid out game of Strati-go. There are certain things i certain parts of Jersey that are their for very specific reasons. You're pimps over there, your whores over there, but don;t go to the whores over there, only the ones over there, cause if you go to the whores over there, well the pimp that is over there will have your ass...etc.

When you get back to Alabama, you'll have time to reflect on the decision you made, on the mistakes you made but most importantly, the friends you made because, I for one, Smell a HERF!