Quote:
Originally Posted by ucubed
I'm no expert, but my major is Family, youth, and community science and believe me when i say I've taken a plethora of child development and psychology courses. If that doesn't help you can use me as an example. Every child is different. Every child has a different capacity of learning behaviors. Though studies have shown that violent video games are bad a "influence", it's all about how you treat the child and how you go about things. If he knows his rights and wrongs that you all have taught him there will be no problem in letting him play these video games. Reinforcing good behaviors while he is playing, giving him the opportunity to play do to a reward, stuff like that can reinforce "right" behaviors.
Children eventually watch tv shows, movies, and play video games that have a higher rating than they are allowed, but the caveat is "with adult supervision". I've always watched rated r movies on tv ever since I was younger. I've started playing video games, (mature games mind you) at the age of 10 (was a professional player in many games). I was one of those stereotypical asian kids, always doing his homework, straight a's, never missed a class sort of deal, and I also dealt with a together, but very dysfunctional family. The reason why I bring this up is, EVERY child is different no matter what. I'm no expert on raising children by any means, but I would like to point out that what works for one child doesn't work for another.
In summation, based on my experiences and education, it's not a BIG deal that he can play. I know families who sit with their children and play, but don't let them play online. Living in a good environment, healthy familial relationship, and good parenting skills is a much more important in a developing child than a MA+ rated video game. If it bothers you that much, and he does eventually get it, set up some ground rules with the father, everyone must be on the same page about things because mixed parenting skills is also a risk factor for a developing adolescent.
Like I said, I don't have kids, I'm not an expert, but I do have some knowledge and experience in this matter.
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Except, I do have kids. Jeremy was playing CoD, Doom and Unreal around that age.
BUT.....(that's a Big But!)
By that age, Ninja was also shooting real guns, hunting (and killing) real game animals, and had a full understanding through demonstration, of the damage that real guns caused. He knew the difference between real and unreal.
Pretty much the same things were said about many of the first-person shooter games that came out in his youth that are being said about Black Ops. I played the games with him, or at least watched him play them to get a feel for the games and to see if there were issues that I needed to address (so he would know right from wrong, for example). However, I never allowed Grand-theft Auto or other games that glorified violence against everyday people or against police. His first-person games were all war based, with good guy going after bad guy.
The main concern I had with Doom, Unreal and the such was the language. But, that was also addressed when it came out of his mouth.
BUT....
Like ucubed said, IT DEPENDS on the child, his experiences, his maturity and his intelligence level. Not all 12 year olds have the background, knowledge or experiences to understand the differences. Ninja was lucky that we lived in an area with land to allow him to have space to learn the outdoor skills he has. Your 12 year old IS DIFFERENT, simply because ALL 12 year olds are different. Thus, you are in the best position to judge what his abilities/limitations are.
Good Luck with the issue.