[Subvet642]

I work in a hospital, and I tell them that non-smokers die every day.

or:

"I've got this pink spot on my lung I'm trying to get rid of."

or:

"It takes ten years off your life, but they're at the end, and they suck anyway."

or:

"I'm trying to avoid the nursing home."

or:

"If tobacco taxes pay for healthcare for poor kids, then I'm doin' it for the kids; I'm a philanthropist!"

And finally, my sig line: