Cigar #3
This cigar is a f***ing beast. 52 RG, over 6” long. The people I meet with weekly would get a huge kick out of me smoking something so uncharacteristically large…
1st/3rd:
Pre light draw is pretty much too easy… this thing is like a straw. A really, really fat straw. Lighting it and starting out, I’m really not getting anything from this flavor-wise at the very beginning. Just smoke. Blech… at this point I wonder if I’ll even be able to finish this thing. It’s the flavor of burning leaves being sucked through a big, fat straw.
Oh god… this is bad. I swear I just got chlorine, like I accidently got water in my mouth at a YMCA pool.
If it weren’t for the awful flavors that occasionally appear, there would be none.
2nd/3rd:
I figure this can’t get much worse, so I decided to pair it with a nice tall cup of bleach. The burning in my gullet and the feeling of corroding esophageal lining and stomach tissue offsets the pungent, acrid smoke this atrocity spews forth.
I am wondering if the Mr. Yuk sticker is on the box this came from. Smoking this makes me feel like Kermit in the “Sad Kermit – Hurt” video (look that up on youtube at your own risk… if you have a truly demented sense of humor, you may laugh quite a bit. I’d almost call it NSFW, but it is a muppet, after all…).
My throat feels like I swallowed a pitchfork. I don’t hate myself enough to finish this.
Score: -5,452,805,013 out of 10. This should be used as a method of torture… it tastes like unbridled sorrow.