Some More Drunken Retorts
 

Judicial
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "I am not officially drunk until the bartender cuts me off."

Respectful
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "Only because I am drinking to remember the brave souls
who fought and died for my right to be able to do this."

Scornful
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "When did you join the temperance league?"

Astrological
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "My horoscope said that I'd be getting bad news today and here you are."

Horological
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "I've been here for all three happy hours. You do the math."

Nostalgic
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "Not as drunk as you were that time told that cop you
were Janet Reno. I guess you don't remember that, huh?"

Nonsensical
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "It's to ward off attacks by giant weasels."

Cultural
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "It's Azerbaijan's Independence Day. You do know that my
Great-Grandfather-in-law came from there, don't you?"

Psychological
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "I had to quell the raging monsters in my Id that want me to hurt you."

Zoological
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "I needed to communicate with my inner monkey."

Biological
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "A liver needs exercise too."

Political
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "I'm expressing my support for the 21st Amendment."