Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake
 

1 C Water
1 C Sugar
4 Large eggs
3 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C Brown sugar
Lemon juice, nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer.
Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the burner.
If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters,
pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway???

Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake
 

hahaha :r i agree whiskey is always better then fruit cake

Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake
 

Larry is a regular Julia Childs!

Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake
 

I have a recipe for tequila cake that's pretty close to this one.

Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake
 

Proper way to make fruit cake:

Step one: Don't
Step two: Whiskey

Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake
 

That fruit cake sames like alot of work. May you need two bottles of whiskey.