Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum - Great One Liners

Some great one liners from stand up comic Jay London.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I saw a stationery store move.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.