Things Retired People Say.
 

This is just to help Peter along as he adjusts into his new life of leisure.
If you're gonna walk the walk, you gotta talk the talk, right?

I'll get us started...

"I can't afford that, I'm on a fixed income!!!"
"Take me home, Mother. I'm tired."
"I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday."
"I didn't quit working, I just quit getting paid for it."

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

I almost forgot my personal favorite...
"I never wanted to be nothin, and I never amounted to anything. I'm a complete success."

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

It's 4pm -- Dinner time!!

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Oh dear, I just sharted myself.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

:r

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

"What day is it?….October?

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

I remember back in my day...wait a minute, no I don't.

I was rude and unattractive back when I had to deal with people. Now, I don't have to be that nice. :)

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Retirement?
Six Saturdays and a Sunday.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Ha, perfect :tu

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Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Yep. After I retired from the USAF I ran into one of the guys that worked for me at the gas station. He asked what retirement was like. I said "Every night's a Saturday night then you go to bed, wake up, and it's Saturday morning." He paused for a few seconds then said "I...can't...bleeping WAIT!"

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

All I know is I can't wait to experience it myself. Probably 5 more years at a minimum. Congrats to all new retirees; hope it's everything you thought it would be and more.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Time for another nap. :)

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

3 more years for me……then start another career :r

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Get off my lawn!

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Depends.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

The worst thing about being retired?

We no longer get paid holidays off.

:lr

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

The second worst thing about being retired?

We forget it's a holiday and look for the mail.

:ss

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Where did I leave my teeth?

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

"Hurry up and get dressed- early bird menu is about to start"
:hy

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Adam is a cruel dude - I approve! :r :r :r

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Weeze just told me to post that. :lr

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

You have no idea how right you are.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Hurry up honey, the Viagra is kicking in.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

"Ooh! The "Come On Down" show is on!"

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

You know, I was going to post one of those sayings right here in this thread, "but damned if I forgot where I put it..." Oh well:D

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Matlock for President!

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

Shut up, I'm watching my stories!

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

"That woman next door has had her 3rd man in there this week!!!"

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Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

I don't care what time it is. I can drink because my gold watch was never given to me....

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

For Mrs. Noon:

Twice as much husband for half as much money.

Re: Things Retired People Say.
 

"F*** it, I am going to wear my whitey tighties all day, stained or not and lay on the couch"