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End of the world is coming soon!
Me and my lovely girlfriend found out shortly after Christmas that we are expecting a new addition to the family! (Amazing Present by the way) OB says Due date of Sept 1st and I couldn't be happier.
This will be my first (girlfriends second) so I am completely terrified yet giddy with excitement at the same time. The world didn't know what to do with me alone... now it has to face my offspring! * Maniacal Laughter* Any and all advice or a heads up from the fathers out there are welcome :) I have assaulted the library for as many quality "expectant fathers" books as I could find and even with my extensive heath care knowledge I am still nervous as hell... lol |
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Diapers and formula cost more than cigars! really though...good luck, parent hood is great.
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We made a run through Babies R Us the other day... Baby registry and 5 hours later I was ready to beat someone into submission with a Mobile. Ran into a few guys I used to work with before I got put on disability so it was nice to catch up but yea I saw diapers were insane!
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Congrats to you and her, life as you know it is over but a better life is just starting :tu
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Congrats to you both, Jesse! :D
I got no advice, on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen. Sorry, bad "Raising Arizona" quote.... |
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Congrats. Positive thoughts sent.
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Congratulations! Now the fun begins :D
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No worries Tom, being the dork that I am I actually got that reference haha. How have you been brotha? Miss BSing with you and the other boys in the Banter thread. Its been a minute since I have been on here. Got started working towards joining Seattle PD and it all went to hell when I got crushed at work.
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Congrats man, I can't offer any advice except learn patience.
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Congrats!! Best advice I can offer you is get your sleep now, while you still can. :D
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Congrats Jesse. My advise is to get well rested now, because you can say goodbye to a full nights rest for several months once the little one arrives. Oh and open a 529 saving plan asap.
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My advice? Get married now.
Gonna have a baby and be a family? Then be a family. As for the rest? Don't worry about it. Life is going to change, expect it. How? There is no cookie cutter mold. Every kid is different, every husband and wife are different, every financial situation is different, every house families live in is different, etc... (I think you get the idea) What happened in one family may not happen in another. Love her... Love the child... Talk to one another, about everything - even the little things. Here is one thing I can tell you. As the pregnancy goes along and the baby is born, you will be a lesser priority in the daily allocation of her time than you have been. It doesn't mean she doesn't care for you - it means that she has a greater priority, the baby. Don't be a second baby whining and crying in the background. Love her, support her, help her. Oh yeah, marry her now. Peace of the Lord be with you. |
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Good luck brother! And congrats!!!
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Best advice on Diapers - Target store brand works well and cost less than pampers/huggies.
Congratulations and good luck! |
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Congratulations! Being a dad is the greatest thing in the world. My daughter just turned a year at the end of November and nothing beats seeing her face light up when I walk in the room or if she knows I am within ear shot and I hear her yell "Dad!" |
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Congrats, Jesse! Get that kid hooked on habanero peppers early!
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Congrats to the both of you, it's a long and sometimes rough road so make sure you take the time to enjoy it along the way. :tu |
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Congrats man! It's exciting and terrifying to be sure, our first is due at the end of July. One thing that we've been doing that seems like a pretty good idea is every other week when we go to the grocery store we buy a pack of diapers. We're alternating sizes (though you can return an unopened pack for the correct size when the time comes) and that way we're getting a head start on that whole thing now rather than having to buy a whole bunch as soon as the baby gets here.
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Congrats! enjoy the young ones until they get to be 14, then they are like zombies walking around with a dumb look on their face. uh!
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Thanks for the heads up guys lol and Rev I will most certainly entertain the thought of marriage, I had actually given it a fair bit of thinking before we even planned on the little one. Mark, I haven't been able to eat the Habs or Bhuts in a long while lol I think I broke my stomach :( Oh how I miss those fireball delights!
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I deal with the youth quite a bit my recommendations are simple. Forget all you know and hear. There is no correct "do it this way and get it right" plans because children and families vary.
With that said I recommend getting married as the Rev said. Let this child know its part of a family, next I recommend the Couragous study (you can find it at any christian book store). It's molded around a christian life style, but even if you don't have faith the study will put some mind blowing facts at you and make you gut check yourself. Last thing is no matter what comes of your relationship with everyone else in the world, a child NEEDS a Father. Children without fathers statistics start out like this and get worse: • 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders • 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide • 6.6 times more likely to become teenaged mothers • 24.3 times more likely to run away • 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions • 10.8 times more likely to commit rape • 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school • 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenage • 73% of adolescent murderers come from mother only homes I came from a drug-addicted, alcoholic, abbusive father. If it wasn't for a step father ( my true personal hero) who was grounded in faith and loved me as his owe. I would be like my biological father now. Being a dad isn't just being around it's being there for your child. Beyond that relax my step said " It was easy being a father all you had to do was love your son!" And Congrats! |
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I appreciate your input :) We are running into issues with the 4 year olds father and being vacant in his life. The guy is running a grow operation out of his house and dealing drugs when Gabe is there but Sarah will not take the actions necessary because it will remove the barely there father all together. Gabe loves his father without a doubt, he is just too young to realize how little time they actually spend together. Gabe is lucky if he gets to see his dad 14-18 hours every two weeks sometimes longer so his mother and I certainly try harder to show him that he is loved.
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Sarah and I had been talking about a weekend get away to Portland and leaving the 4 year old with my parents. If it happens I will gladly buy you a Shirley Temple at the Shilo and we can enjoy a few smokes.
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Congratulations, Jesse. You've got an incredible experience ahead.
When my daughter was born, I had the fortune to take off work for a year. I spent every second with her. I fed her at night, changed all the diapers, held her, taught her. She's literally become me, but surpassed me in a million different ways. She's taken the benefit of my years and employed them in her life at an age where I was doing all the wrong things, learning hard lessons. I've always let her do as she wishes and suffer the consequences. That's the very hardest part of being a parent. You tell them to quit climbing around on the folding chair because they'll pinch their fingers, then you have to sit back and let them pinch their fingers, even if it means a trip to the hospital for stitches. That child has taught me more about being a decent human being than anyone ever possibly could. That's because she has my heart, and I have hers. It's the greatest show on earth, hang on tight. So far as Gabe goes, I've got four step-children. I treat every one as if they were my own. That's not to say I steam-rolled in and put my foot down, I've worked very hard to learn them, understand them, support them, talk to them, and let them know they're loved. Each step-child is a work in progress. You've got an extra challenge with Gabe, that's his biological father. Regardless of what he is, he'll always be special to Gabe in Gabe's eyes. That relationship needs to play out the way it plays out so that Gabe will learn from it. In the meantime, your job is to show him what a real father brings. Unconditional Love. It's no matter whatever how Gabe's relationship with his father plays out. That's theirs. Don't EVER say anything against his father for any reason. Ever. Respect that special relationship and rather than telling Gabe what it should be like, show him. You're a father now and you're the man of the house. Marry that woman and assume your role. Regardless of what she says or what you think you think, it changes everything. Right now you're a house divided. From the day you place a ring on that woman's finger, she will forever be your wife and mother of your child, as one, together. It's a huge difference that you can't begin to fathom until you've done it. May God's strength and Love bind you all. :tu |
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Congrats! It's a great time! As long as you don't get too uptight, it's a great ride.
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With Gabe in mind I just want to say two things; any male can have a child and that not have a dad. Being dad is way more than having a child. The next thing is only my personal thought, if it were me I wouldput a stop to putting Gabe in a situation like that. I would call the law it may sober up a man and put him on the path to being a father to his son. It takes Gabe out of a very dangerous situation as well. 14 hours in a drug house on a weekend is plenty enough time for that child to get hurt or killed, it only takes on accident or stray bullet. I would also like you to consider if you would let your child go there when it is born, if not than why is it okay for Gabe? I truely do not want to sound hard or judgemental, I just want you to think of it a different light. I wish you all the best and will pray the Lord moves and shows you the right path.
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I completely agree with you Coty, I have expressed my concerns to Gabes mother and made myself 100% clear on the subject. She will not take Gabe's father away from him or have anything to do with it. If I protect Gabe by removing his father from the situation I fear that I would lose both Gabe and his mother because I would always be the guy who betrayed her trust and landed his dad in jail. This situation sucks... When Gabe is old enough to recognize what is happening things will work themselves out. The only option outside of that is to talk to him myself but that wouldn't end well for either of us.
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There are a lot more slippery ways to get that dirty job done, Jesse. Your fingers don't ever need to touch it. I'd be happy to make the proper phone calls in a minute. :tu
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I appreciate the offer, but his house getting raided by the DEA would only raise suspicion on my behalf. Working with the police departments in Seattle and the surrounding cities I have plenty of connections but its still the betrayal of Sarah's trust... the situation is pretty crappy all around but i'll have to figure something out.
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CONGRATS ON YOUR SON!
Pampers are great but expensive, Huggies are also great but expensive, store brand tend to sag and leak but are dirt cheap, LUVs sag and leak but aren't as cheap as the store brand so if you don't mind saggy and leaky then go with the store brand, I hate LUVs so much. Also all store brands aren't created equal Walmart might fit your kids butt better than Kmart or vice versa. Unless you are really broke, spend the money for whatever diaper fits your kids butt best, you want room for poop in the back and a good snug seal around the legs. 8 bucks less for a 40 pack sounds awesome until your standing in line holding him and green diahrrea blows out both sides of his diaper soaking you with the most foul smelling mess you can imagine. Some cheaper wipes gave our son a butt rash, we had no choice but to get the expensive ones. They start understanding earlier than you think so always explain to them why they are in trouble, what's wrong, etc. Crying isn't the end of the world, if they are warm, fed, and clean, letting them cry it out early on will save you headaches later. We had ours sleeping through the night at 3 months. Mine is only 2 so that's all I got. |
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Things I learned from my kids: Communicate, even when they dont want to. Tell them why even when you dont want to. And hug them a lot, because it helps everyone. Disapline is a way of saying I want you to be safe, and for them to feel safe even though they dont agree with you until much later. Never under estimate them. They start learning the minuet they are born. Make sure what you let them get away with when they are 2 will be what you want them to get away with when they are 3-19. Marry his mother, it shows that you love her enough to go through anything with her. Dont quit, as said before PATIENTS even when you dont think you have anymore. And love that little guy with all your heart because that is how he is going to love you no matter what you do.
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Good luck brother! Congrats on the baby boy!
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Congrats. Fatherhood is one of the greatest joys in life. It will tax you in ways you could never imagine but the rewards are worth it. Buckle up.
I'm still new to the board and don't know you from Adam, but I would join with the others who encouraged you to marry your girl and make it official. One of the things my kids have benefited from the most is me telling them on a weekly/daily basis that I'm not gonna quit on them or their momma. That sense of security alone will go a long way in holding all sorts of other wolves at bay. Oh, and during the first trimester and the third trimester the answer is "yes" to any questions she asks. Maybe during the second you can work in one "no". Unless of course the question is "do I look fat?" in which case you are cooked because there is no right answer to the question. Best thing you can do if you get that one is let your eyes glaze over and mumble something about how fantastic you think her boobs look. |
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Awesome! Congrats on your first and it being a boy. It is an exciting time where everything is crazy. It will get crazier for sure, but it all works out. My oldest is about to turn 5 and I still remember the moment in the hospital when he popped out. It was a long birth and everyone was wiped out, but that moment when I saw him was remarkable.
Now I sit with 4 boys with the youngest at 9 months. I am not sure if it's possible to stock pile sleep, but try if you can :) My youngest just recently sleeping through most nights. Enjoy it because it is fun, although it will be frustrating at times. 3am when the kid won't stop crying for some unknown reason.........you just have to keep rocking him, singing/humming, or whatever else you can think of that will comfort him. Good luck with the other situation also. I can't imagine what kind of pressure that would bring upon a relationship. |
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I am honestly working on the marriage part, we have talked about it in length and she is still not impressed with the aspect of another marriage. She thinks "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I love you". Which I can see her reasoning but I am more stubborn than she is and I will get her to marry me one of these days in the near future.
Thank you all for the sound advice, especially the exploding diapers... I had a horrific visual of innocent by standers getting peppered with spatter. I promise to love all of our children in the home without limits. |
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And those late nights when the kid needs consoling? Some of my best memories are rocking the baby in the middle of the night, being able to be the calming part of the whole thing, and the two of us just looking at each other, trying to communicate love through facial expression. OP- Congrats! There is nothing like being a parent. A trick I've used is to EXPECT no sleep. EXPECT getting frustrated. If you expect trying times, they are very easy to deal with when they do happen. If I went into it thinking that I expected a full night's sleep, it would've drove me crazy. |
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If so, double congrats. |
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I finally had the talk with Sarah's father and he said he "Would be honored to call me his son" so I guess I have been doing something right! Visited the courthouse yesterday and now the waiting period. Have the officiant all lined up, Thank you Kevin (LOBO) and I will officially be a married man in a short time.
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Very Cool Jesse!
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Congrats again, Jesse! :tu
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Congrats! BTW, no matter how many books you read you'll never be ready for babies.
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