arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

i dont mean to start some angry flame war or piss anyone off but i have a legitimate question for the masses here.

Keeping the story short, my step-brother-in-law has recently moved into the house. I am 21 he is 29 or 30(i cant remember) We seem to have arguments about anything from cigars, cars, beer and home maintenance or anything. when they happen we both normally will think we are right, as in any argument starts. 90% of the time i will pull out my phone or laptop and look up the facts on what we are arguing about.

This is where the trouble starts. If the facts show that he is right. Then cool argument over i concede and he goes on his marry way. If I am correct he continues to argue about how he has more experience then me, i dont know what im talking about and that where i found my information from is BS. Any number of things but downright refuses until physically proven wrong.

this brings up my question. Over a few beers this weekend, a friend of mine asked if he had gone to college. which he has not. While i have been to college and done extensive training in the military. She(a 3rd year psych under-grad) then brought up that college changes how you think about information or situations. Also making you more likely to accept relearning something you thought you knew. Does this seem to be a good or possible explanation for what is going on between us or is it something else?

Id just like to understand this better. As getting into an argument or discussion where when right the other person basically just calls you a moron pisses me off. -(P

thanks for your time fellas


* added for wayner123

my BIL and step-sister fell on hard times when he lost his job as a carpenter in Vegas. Thats the short and simple of it.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Wish I could help you Devan, but since I am never wrong I can't really help :lr

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Don't get in to an argument with him. Just tell him it isn't worth the stress.

One does not have to go to college to be educated and many uneducated people have degrees.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Some people just can't be wrong Devan, sounds like your BIL has a hard time with being wrong so he will continue the argument just to piss you off, just don't argue with him, walk away and it will really make him mad. :tu

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

My opinion only, but book learnin' ain't got nuthin' to do with how open minded a person may or may not be to new ideas.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

I think college can definitely expand one's horizons, help you understand how much you don't know and, maybe gain a bit of humility and flexibility in the process.

However, this product of a college education is by no means guaranteed and some people are just going to be stubborn in the face of a challenge, whatever they encounter. I can't tell you which kind of guy your step-brother-in-law is, but I'm glad it appears you have a good humor about the whole thing. :tu

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

The story you held back, which caused him to move in, may be a major factor to why he is so belligerent.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Mark hit the nail on the head right here.

But on the lighter side Devan...Boats 'N Hoes!! :r :r
http://i672.photobucket.com/albums/v...pbrothers1.jpg

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Being in college right now, I can tell you just because someone is in college doesn't mean they aren't heard headed, stubborn, and resolve to flat out be a dick when he doesn't get his way.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Just ignore him. If he is right or wrong just let it go. If you are going into an argument with a person who can not be wrong let him continue to believe his opinion over the fact. Then your not mad and he is still happy.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

I have a couple of friends who are both college graduates...but can never be wrong in an argument. Some people are just like that. Occasionally I find myself in a heated discussion with them and even though I know I'm right, it's easier to just accede to them and let it die. Some other times people just argue to get under your skin. Either way it sounds like it might be easier to just avoid heated discussions/debates/arguments with the guy.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Sounds to me like you are living in a house with too many personalities and you two just like to argue with one another for one reason or another whether you both have dominant personalities or deep down you get on each others nerves. I don't think the college/non-college argument may be the case as mentioned previous there are some pretty sharp people without degrees and vice versa.
My wife and I at one time between moves made the mistake of moving in to her mothers house while waiting for the apartment we would be moving into at the time to be finished being renovated. That was the longest three weeks of my life as her sister and husband were living there as were her brother and wife. Fortunately we would be getting in and out while they were there for the long haul but I found that we all argued over everything, mostly petty BS because there were just too many people living amongst each other. Once we left our relationships with them went back to normal where the rest that were still living there and continued to bicker over everything and I think now that everyone has gone their separate ways they still have some ill will toward each other because they lived like that for so long. Sounds to me that you two will continue to argue if living under the same roof together. Hopefully you guys can either patch up what seems like some sort of deep down resentment toward each other or one of you moves before it ends up effecting the relationship permanently as the longer it goes on the more you two will resent one another. I could be totally off base on this one but just giving you an opinion from experience.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

for the last 2 posts, i really try to not argue with him as i know its useless. The problem comes when we have to work on something. whether i need help with my car(im 5' 6" 135 he is 6' 1" like 210 sometimes i need more strength) , or he does with his. Most recently been refinishing my mothers bathroom. i have learned something have the facts and such to back it up but he just wont accept that it needs to be this way, this is needed or any number of things. Then when im right and it has to be re-done he wont even accept it. I guess he is just someone who refuses to be wrong.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Ain't worth it.

"You're right. See ya". ;)

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

I'm with Mike I'm wrong once a year and that usually falls on my birthday...nothing I can do for you

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

If that's the case than it could be that he's just a d*ck! :D:r

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Sorry your in this situation. This is usually a no win situation with someone you live with.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

i move across the state to school in 6weeks. :tu

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

By improving yourself and learning new things you have won the argument. Maybe he fights with you because he thinks he as achieved all he can, so he has to belittle you to prove he is a "MAN". Just know that you are going to be better then that!!!

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

well he is going to ITT for some tech degree. so unless someone can prove the a major university makes me better then him going to a tech school(which i HIGHLY doubt) then we are even. But i guess we could go with that he is (see above in bold) mad that he wasn't able to go to school when he was younger and maybe feels ive achieved more(time spent in military) then he was able to at my age, thus what you are referring to?

i feel like that idea is confusing to read.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

It just seems to me that you have more going for you. Just keep yourself above it. Just know that some people will argue just for the sake of arguing!!!

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

:tpd: Plus the fact that you will be moving shortly means it's only temporary and between now and than just do your best to let it roll off your back.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

well thank you, i like to think im doing pretty well for myself.:sh

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

:tpd:

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

I don't agree with the college/noncollege comparison.
After all, I'll bet nearly every one of our "illustrious"
Congressmen and Senators in D.C. went to colege.
How many of them appear to check the facts or keep
an open mind? Just sayin.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/me...oreTheLock.gif

J/K:r

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

ppssshh who listens to that guy anyways? :r

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Do you know what the difference between In-Laws and Out-Laws is?

Out-Laws are wanted. I can sympatize Devan. I've got a few BIL's that really make it a point that they don't want to have anything to do with my wife's family, until they need money.:sl

I have one BIL that sounds so much like yours. Well educated, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. He just always has the need to be "right". I've known him for 19 years and so many in the family have to walk on eggshells around him. In the last 8 years or so I've found that if I don't disagree with him we get along fine. I try to find a topic of discussion that he can "educate" me on. He eats that stuff up like the icecream that fatty eats.:) I do it for his wife that i adore. He's much better with the family but still rides his wife over every little thing. It makes me want to puke.:pu

Being under the same roof must really suck. My wife's brother and his 3 young boys moved in with her in her 2 bedroom apartment and stayed for years. He has never thanked her for supporting him and the nephews for that time. Never, but he still acts like he's better and smarter than the rest of the family and siblings. (He just lost his million dollar plus home and the bride and I had a good chuckle. Even though that's probably wrong.)

Don't even get me started about my sister's husdand. Our mom took years to die from cancer and that A-H never even called never mind visit. He sleeps to 2 PM, takes a long nap, makes my sister cook him dinner about 10 PM , then goes out drinking all night.

Had to share that you are not alone. You need to remember something important. It's your house, you're the boss, and he's your guest. Don't let him piss you off. He should be kissing your feet and buying you a nice box of cigars once a week. Maybe pay some rent too.

You can pick your ass, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family.;s

Chin up, smile, and start leaving the apartment listings out on the table.
Stay strong.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

well its not technically my house. Its my step-father(basically my dad) and mothers house, But i grew up here. If that counts for anything. He does owe me a box of cigars for fixing his truck when they arrived here from vagas :gary

thanks for sharing though, atleast i know it could be much worse with him

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Question: To what do you attribute the ignorance and apathy of the masses?

Answer: Don't know, and don't care.


The next time you get cheesed off by his stubborn self-righteous attitude, cite him the story of Socrates' visit to the Oracle of Delphi. The Oracle told the renowned philosopher that he was the wisest man in the world, because he knew he did not know.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

These guys are wise.

I've found very few things in life are worth that much of an argument, stress or strife over. You and your step-BIL are living under the same roof right now. Someone has to be the more mature person or it's not going to be bearable. For better or worse, it seems that role has fallen on you.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Hard times force your back against a wall where everyone is trying to get a piece of yo,u and to top it all off,
whether she says it or not, the man thinks his wife looks at him as a failure. People in that situation tend to try
to win em where and when they can. It is a weak attempt at regaining self-respect. There are a hundred ways
to exploit that and make it work for you, albeit cruelly so. I agree that short of giving you the psychoanalysis on
it, that you do your best to say, "when you are right you are right", then leave him in silence to ponder his sham
of a self-respect all alone.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

that makes complete sense then and :r

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

thanks for the help everyone!

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

Can I give you a piece of advice many 20 somethings wished they had listened to in college?

Go to college for a "trade", not a mindset or "world view." Look at these six degrees. Nursing, Psychology, Sociology, Western History, Engineering, Accounting. Which ones are trades? Of the people who graduate with one of those six degrees, which students will have the easiest time finding a job applying what they learned?

My degree is half and half, and I am kicking myself in the ass for it.

Re: arguments/discussions with the educated vs uneducated?
 

im going for a masters in supply management. probly western history is a trade and nursing for a job.

My grandfather was in the same field. it should be pretty stable career, atleast i hope.