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-   -   what's the WORST cigar you've smoked? (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=35210)

ujponds 08-14-2010 12:42 PM
what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Like most people here I check Cigar Monster all day long. I always click on the reviews and find it funny how much they can differ. I was wondering what some of the worst cigars some of you have had are?

For me it has to be Helix Maduro Torpedo

Ogre 08-14-2010 12:44 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Gurkha Double Black. 2 puffs and I was done!!!

markem 08-14-2010 12:44 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
After a certain point, I don't distinguish if this one bad stick was worse than some other bad stick. Bad is bad. There are far too many that never made it past the first puff.

Brian D. 08-14-2010 12:45 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
The brand name was "Smokin' Toad". Some of us renamed it "Chokin' Turd".

The Poet 08-14-2010 12:48 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Somebody gave me a few Santana churchills once. Don't know anything about them, but three puffs in I trashed it.


I may still have one buried somewhere, if you're interested. :r

Footbag 08-14-2010 12:53 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Easy... Gifted Cohibo from the DR.

Tasted like fish food.

stevieray 08-14-2010 01:04 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Maroma

Eleven 08-14-2010 01:18 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Gurkha. Have not had one yet that I could finish.

shilala 08-14-2010 01:36 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Padilla Miami.
I've smoked lots of really bad cigars, but I really fought through that one. Now I suffer a half an inch till I throw them in the alley.

maninblack 08-14-2010 02:26 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Mine would have to be a flor de todo or something like that. Tasted like ass compounded with dog crap.

kelmac07 08-14-2010 02:30 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
No contest...Lars Teten Gorillafinger!!

Dunkel 08-14-2010 02:36 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Pick any from my signature.

whodeeni 08-14-2010 02:59 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Nicaraguan Bundle stick that i got from CI last summer when I first
started out.... Took Me 6 months to find somebody who'll smoke "Anything"
that I could give them to! They were so bad that I wouldn't have felt
right even sending them to the troops!:r

icehog3 08-14-2010 03:00 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Cremosa Cubana, hands down. :r

Runners up:

Tamboril
Gurkha Regent
Fauxhiba at SHV


For those of you who weren't on CS back in 2005, Dave had a contest to see which cigar was worse, a Cremosa or a Tamboril. This was my entry after trying both cigars:

Quote:
Tamboril

I decide to smoke the Tamboril in the parking garage near where I work. Pulling the cigar from its cellophane jail, I swear I have seen this cigar before. Finally, it comes to me…it is just the same as the Cuban Cohibas I bought from the guy walking the beach in Cancun last summer. A squeeze reveals a spongy construction, much like a contraceptive sponge prior to insertion.

Pre-light draw

The pre-light draw is a taste to remember…its what I imagine sucking powdered goat feces through a straw made of petrified moose $hit might taste like. I contemplate quitting the contest and sending Dave back his extra smokes, but decide that if I can have a root canal with no anesthesia, I can smoke this cigar.

The smoke

As I toast the end, the smell of the Killing Fields of Cambodia is what I perceive. All the pain and torture endured there seems only slightly worse than the experience I am beginning. The first draw fills my mouth with smoke that would be better suited for a fire at a tire factory, but I press on, knowing that I must help Dave find some answers to his dilemma. My head begins to pound like a headboard in a Ginger Lynn movie, but I puff again, trying to keep the smoke in and the bile down. The cigar is burning sideways and fast, and finally I can take no more. I see a homeless man walking by in his filthy clothes, and I ask him to spit in my mouth to take away the taste of the Tamboril. He obliges and the stale taste of Mad Dog 20/20 and Virginia Slims is a welcome change. I offer him the remainder of the cigar as a reward for his kind gesture, and he slugs me square in the mouth. The mixture of my own blood and the Mogan David remain with me on my journey home for the second part of my adventure.

Cremosa

I take the Cremosa out of its wrapper, and am immediately overwhelmed by the scent of Miss Locascio’s house. Miss L was the woman on our block with 72 cats, 3 ferrets and a nasty flatulence problem. The cigar feels harder than the mattress at the Motel 6 and has the same color as the middle of horrorview’s prescription thong.

Pre-light draw

The pre-light draw feels looser than an Irish hooker on St Patrick’s Day. I long for the taste of spit and blood again as I taste the rancid pork washed down with spoiled milk flavor that the Cremosa offers.I shudder as I reach into my pocket for my lighter. As I contemplate my next move, Chevy Chase appears on my shoulder…”See the cigar, hog….be the cigar”….I flick my bic.

The smoke

The smell of the cigar is a familiar one….the smoke smells like the water that leaks out of a dumpster behind a Mexican restaurant on a 95 degree day. My head swims with irrational thoughts….”should I slit my wrists?”….”should I eat a bullet?”…..”should I watch 'American Idol'?”. Finally, sanity creeps back in, and I rush to the sink. No time for the Drew Estates Dave included as a palate cleanser, I reach for the Liquid Plumber and greedily chug from the bottle. The second degree burns scorching my tongue bring welcome relief from the taste of the Craposa. In the ambulance, the paramedic asks ”what is that rancid pork and spoiled milk smell on your breath”, even as he stabilizes my vital signs. I will live, he tells me, and by the way, he found my cigar and saved it for me. I wonder if they will have any sharp items in my hospital room?

So the loser… or the winner…of the worst of the worst…Cremosa. Thanks a lot Dave…I will send you the hospital bills.

s15driftking 08-14-2010 03:05 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Footbag (Post 953089)
.

Tasted like fish food.
you eat fish food?

mine would be the La Aurora Barrel Aged

JDTexan 08-14-2010 03:11 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Any Gurkha I ever tried to choke down.

Starz26 08-14-2010 03:13 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Some Punch NC. Tasted like vomit and made me want to do same.

dwoodward 08-14-2010 03:18 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dunkel (Post 953172)
Pick any from my signature.
I have had the Cuba Libre, and yes, I agree, worst cigar I have ever smoked.

sikk50 08-14-2010 03:38 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
I reviewed it actualy!

http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=21081

NCRadioMan 08-14-2010 04:03 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 953195)
Cremosa Cubana, hands down. :r

Runners up:

Tamboril
Gurkha Regent
Fauxhiba at SHV


For those of you who weren't on CS back in 2005, Dave had a contest to see which cigar was worse, a Cremosa or a Tamboril. This was my entry after trying both cigars:
:banger No question although my Tamboril was worse than the Cremosa but I don't want to even look at either one again. The Gurkha Legend in the pppp was really horrible at SH IV too.

Those three stick out as the worst.

Chingas 08-14-2010 04:09 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Tom, that old school review had me rolling!

NCRadioMan 08-14-2010 04:17 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chingas (Post 953283)
Tom, that old school review had me rolling!
Pretty much everyone that smoked them has the same type thoughts as Tom, Chingas. :pu

Chingas 08-14-2010 04:28 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCRadioMan (Post 953291)
Pretty much everyone that smoked them has the same type thoughts as Tom, Chingas. :pu
I say to myself all the time I wish I was around in the beginning. Not so much anymore!

GTsetGO 08-14-2010 04:31 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Rocky Patel Autumn 09

should have just licked my ashtray.

macsauce13 08-14-2010 04:42 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Honestly, as of now

La Aurora 107 Robusto

Savvy 08-14-2010 04:54 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
I had a Cremosa Cubana with a few years on it. I think that just allowed it to gain a little bit more of the mildewy cardboard flavor than it would have had if it was fresh.

I also had a Lars Teten Gorilla Finger, which more or less tastes like smoking a urinal cake.


It's definitely one of those two, I'm just not entirely sure which was more awful than the other.

elderboy02 08-14-2010 05:06 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Cremosa Cubana :pu

BryanB 08-14-2010 05:17 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Flor de Todo or Macanudo Claybourne Jade :pu

ujponds 08-14-2010 05:18 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Some pretty funny stuff. I'm glad I started this thread, I was actually thinking of picking up some Gurkhas to see what the fuss was all about. I see them all over the place online now I know why, they want to get rid of them!

Ogre 08-14-2010 05:38 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ujponds (Post 953339)
Some pretty funny stuff. I'm glad I started this thread, I was actually thinking of picking up some Gurkhas to see what the fuss was all about. I see them all over the place online now I know why, they want to get rid of them!
The issue with Gurkhas is the inconsistency. I had 3 cigars from the same box, 1 good and 2 sucked!!! Will not do that gamble again.

RevSmoke 08-14-2010 05:49 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Is this premium hand-rolled cigars, or any cigars at all.

Lars Tetem (I smoked a couple when they first came out)
Grand Nica
Macanudo
Te Amo

Adriftpanda 08-14-2010 06:02 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Famous-Garcia Family

Jbailey 08-14-2010 06:03 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
El Baton.

I felt like I went to a garbage dump and sucked on the incinerator chimney.

DMK 08-14-2010 06:17 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
anything from Gurkha....:pu

quantim0 08-14-2010 06:17 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
A Gurkha Beast thAt tasted like I was smoking the stale earth that the beast had peed on for the last 5 years.

Terrifying.

Sr Mike 08-14-2010 06:43 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
I would have to pick either the Inmenso or the Nub Habano

bobarian 08-14-2010 07:03 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Angry Elf-Thanks(???) papajohn! :td

cricky101 08-14-2010 07:05 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Tried a Cremosa in a PPP and it so far has been the worst cigar I've EVER tried. Thinking about it gives me shivers

darkleeroy 08-14-2010 07:51 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Camacho Corojo

d'am 08-14-2010 08:26 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Puros Indios Viejo. It was so bad I had to smoke a second to make sure the first wasn't a mistake.

acruce 08-14-2010 08:30 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
I forget the name but the band has a chick showing her tits.

ujponds 08-14-2010 08:52 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by acruce (Post 953498)
I forget the name but the band has a chick showing her tits.
I can see why you wouldn't notice the name.

taltos 08-14-2010 09:08 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
I have to vote for the Cremosa.

icehog3 08-14-2010 10:13 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ogre3239 (Post 953353)
The issue with Gurkhas is the inconsistency. I had 3 cigars from the same box, 1 good and 2 sucked!!! Will not do that gamble again.
I had a similar experience Larry...I had 3 Gurkhas from the same box, 0 good and 3 sucked! :r

Starscream 08-14-2010 10:35 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by acruce (Post 953498)
I forget the name but the band has a chick showing her tits.
:r Free Cuba

M1903A1 08-14-2010 10:36 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Tom, I can barely type after reading your review!:r:r:r When cigars come back into vogue you should do cigar reviews for the newspapers!!

My worst...a Puros Indios. In three words: puff, puff, PITCH!!!!!! :pu

icehog3 08-14-2010 10:37 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by andysutherland (Post 953602)
:r Free Cuba
And I thought she was just "cheap".

icehog3 08-14-2010 10:37 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by M1903A1 (Post 953604)
Tom, I can barely type after reading your review!:r:r:r When cigars come back into vogue you should do cigar reviews for the newspapers!!
I guess I could try The Onion, Scott. :r

Superbad 08-14-2010 10:40 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Ghurka's. I have yet to have one that didn't taste like bitters and dirt.

M1903A1 08-14-2010 10:43 PM
Re: what's the WORST cigar you've smoked?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 953609)
I guess I could try The Onion, Scott. :r
That would certainly improve it, Tom!!!


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