Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

After a time swilling anything alcoholic, I've been looking a while for a good beer. I didn't know what I was looking for at first. As a matter of fact, I still don't, but I've established what I do and don't like. I do like "lighter" tasting ales like Newcastle and more flavorful lagers like Beck's. And I DO not like this gnarly, bitter, how-much-hops-can-you-stand nonsense that the American craft breweries seem to be fans of in recent years. I want a real IPA, not a butt-puckering, hop-laden, beer humunculus that crawls down my throat and takes a dump on my tongue. And yes, I know what a "real" IPA is - I've been to England and tasted the sweet fruit of their breweries. Greene King IPA is to this day one of the best beers I remember (and apparently only a mediocre beer to the Brits), and is, unfortunately, not exported to my knowledge. But my taste is weird anyway - I can drink a Budweiser, Coors, Miller, Pabst or Olympia and be happy with it, but I don't like Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada IPA, Killian's or Fat Tire.

So, knowing that I like British ales of most types and German lagers of most types (excepting wheat beers - never got into them) and that I dislike excessive hops and strong "grain" tastes (like imperial stouts and beers like Fat Tire provide), can anybody give me any suggestions for beers to try? I know I just gave you quite a task, but I know there are some veritable beer experts here, and I'd like to hear what you think :)

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Look for a blond ale. Most of the ones I've had are homebrewed, but they are "lighter" tasting but still a whole lot of flavor. Very good beers IMO. Sorry I can't give you a brand as I don't know if I've had a good commercially available blond.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Tis the season, so I would point you in the Oktoberfest direction. A maltier lager that you might enjoy: Paulaner and Spaten are German brewed, and relatively easy to find (not sure where you are...) this time of year. For an American version, I really like Harpoon's Oktoberfest.

In the British ale category, I prefer Fuller's to Bass. I particularly like Fuller's ESB--one of the best beers I've ever had, and I've had quite a few. :al Sticking with American Ales, you might want to sample Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale or Harvest Ale--more balanced and fruity than their IPAs, might be a better fit for your prefered taste profile. A few East Coast breweries make awesome Brown Ales: Dogfish Head and Legends (right here in Richmond,) are two of the best in my book.

The one American brewery that probably makes the best beer to fit your profile would be Brooklyn Brewery. I'd suggest sampling a few of their different offerings.

Good luck!

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Harpoon's Oktoberfest is awesome. Harpoon's Leviathon is a bit interesting with 14% alcohol or so.

I tend to enjoy Belgians alot. Chimay Ale is good. Trappistes Rochefort 10 is my absolute favorite beer. Can be on the pricey side. Leffe is a blegian blonde. And LaChouffe is good too.

Hoegaarden is an easy find and a good beer as well.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

If you're looking for a more traditional, toned-down style of IPA, try The Blind Pig and Pliny the Elder, both from Russian River Brewing. Very flavorful but these have an almost elegant mouth-feel, especially the Pliny. There are plenty of hops but it comes across as citrusy (grapefruit mainly) instead of beating you over the head with the hops mallet. Their appearance is more traditional as well, much lighter in color than the Stone, Lagunitas, Avery, etc. crowd.

Can be difficult to find due to the limited production. However, I'd seek them out if you can.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

as i come from the home of bitter i say drink more bitter lol

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Thanks for the suggestions so far - you guys seem to be leading me in the direction I'd hoped.

@Sauer Grapes
Blonde ales, eh? I'll have to look around. Thanks for the suggestion.

@kaisersozei
I think you've nailed my taste, as I do like Paulaner and remember their Oktoberfest Maerzen being pretty good, so I think I might have to hunt down some of this Fuller's ESB. I've heard much about Samuel Smith - what say you, beer sage? I've heard the Spaten Oktoberfest come up many times too, so that's now solidly on my radar. This Harpoon Oktoberfest sounds worth a shot as well. I've written down your other suggestions on my list ;)

@Pilon
14% ABV! That is definitely worth a shot :D I've heard of Chimay, so I'll keep that one in mind as well, and Hoegaarden is easy to find here in Denver, so that should be one of the next to get as well, after the Oktoberfests.

@pinotguy
I'll have to try to find some Pliny the Elder too - I like the idea of the citrusy aspect to the hops. If Daveco Liquors doesn't have it, it hasn't made it this side of the Mississippi!

@adampc22
If only! Problem is being landlocked in the middle of the New World - hard to find good bitter, especially since it's best served on tap, and even better when you payed your first born son for a pint on the island where it was brewed!

Woo...sounds like I've got some shopping to do. So many beers, so few hands!

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Pliny has only made it to the Phily area this side of the Mississip.

However, not to be confrontational, but I don't think Pliny will fit you at all. It is what is known as a taste bud killer, meaning it is so hoppy that you won't be able to taste other IPAs after having Pliny. Also, it is an Imperial IPA, meaning more hops and more alcohol (more alcohol giving it the sweetness). Even Blind Pig would be too much for you IMO.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE pliny, but I am a hop head so the more bitter (and balanced) a beer, the better.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Try going a different direction altogether, Brooklyn's Black Chocolate Stout is out now, it's a great beer.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

have you tried old spekled hen ? or hobgoblin ?

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Pliny is almost impossible to find outside of California.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Try Boddingtons which I love but the low carbonation factor is not for everyone, some think it seems flat. I try to explain that's the traditional style, but meh.

A little less accessible, but i really like, is St. Peters Golden Ale. You'd certainly have to go to a beer warehouse for this, you won't find it on a supermarket shelve for sure. Comes in a really cool hip flask shaped bottle as well. :banger

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Not to mention that I stand by my comment that it is exactly the opposite of what he is looking for.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

There is a beer that has recently popped up in liquor stores around here called Point (from Steven's Point Brewery in Stevens Point Wisconsin). If you can find it you might try their Cascade Pale Ale. For me it fits the bill of what you describe - hop flavorful but not puckering.

- Rob

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

OK, I asked a buddy what blond ales he'd recommend and he thought maybe shiner blond (different than their bock).

My buddy actually brews the best blond I've ever tasted, but I am surprised he recommended a shiner beer since neither of us care too much for shiner bock.

Edit... I just checked shiner's website and it's a golden lager, so I'm not sure what my buddy was thinking. Maybe taste wise it's the closest thing, but his was a blond ale.

PS, have you tried Harpoon's IPA? Most hopheads think it is a watered down version of an IPA.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

He also suggested trying flying dog tire bite golden ale.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Boddington's is alright - kind of an odd-tasting beer to me, but yields the most epic head I've ever poured. St Peter's Golden Ale...hmm. Have to see if there's any of that at my booze stop.

@Red
Haven't tried either of those, but Old Speckled Hen comes up a lot, so I'll have to try it.

@Sauer Grapes
Thanks for all the help! I'll have to try Shiner Blond if your buddy thinks it's good, as well as Flying Dog Tire Bite. They will be prioritized.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Any suggestions for something similar to the Oktoberfest Märzen style that's available year-round? I really like the kind of flavor and balance these beers bring, but alas, it's only two weeks a year.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Try Abita's Amber. I think that is distributed nationally--it's a pretty good Marzen that's available year round.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Sounds to me you're more of a malt guy especially if you like the Octoberfest brews.
Try any Festbier. HeBrew has a few maltier beers. I'd also suggest some great brown ales such as Dogfish Head's Indian Brown Ale or any Altbier for that matter.
Lastly, dopplebocks will fit your bill perfectly in my opinion. Ayinger Celebrator is a slamdunk as is Troegenator Double Bock (one of my favorites) and Weihenstephaner Korbinian. Enjoy and good luck on your beer discoveries!

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Pick up some Delerium Tremens, you will not be dissapointed.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

try any of the offerings from Unibroue. I haven't been disappointed in any of them.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Trios Pistoles is my favorite!

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Definintely more of a malt guy :D

Doppelbocks? Thanks for the reccomendation, I'll look for some, particularly the German ones (yet to find anything Ayinger or Weihenstephaner in my state :/ ).

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Have you tried Harps? It's available year 'round, and seems to me to fit the profile you are seeking. More malt, less hops, a little citrusy, nice head. Not complex, but a nice drinkable beer with the malt profile you're looking for.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Harp, as in the Irish lager? No, I haven't tried it yet but I was curious; it showed up at one of the local liquor stores and the idea of an Irish lager sounded interesting to me.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

My absolute favorite ale is Chimay Premiere - see my avatar . It has the red label . As for Hoegarden , I love it but it's too lite for the colder time of year , definitely a thirst quencher in the summer . Harp is definitely a really good lager . Smithwicks is excellent also . I'm don't tend to like the bitter stuff but one I do like is RedHook ESB . I do like Boddingtons also , better on tap like most ale . Good luck and hopefully your shop sells singles so you can mix and match . :chr

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Based upon Bubba's comment above, and knowing it is available locally, I am drinking a Chimay Premiere as I write this. Very nice ruddy brown color. Big foamy head, setles down to lace fairly quickly. Starts sweet and fruity but is more bitter on the finish. Not hoppy, but not malty either. Nicely balanced. Perhaps more carbonated than I would have preferred, but a nice refreshing beer overall.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

I would recommend a nice Hefenwiezen or it's older brother the Dunkelwiezen. Very little hops but lots of flavor.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

This chart may help you (or it may just confuse you more, mwhahaha)

Attachment 4167

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Dude that's an awesome chart. Thanks!

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

That's actually really helpful, thanks a lot.

@BlackDog and Bubba - NJ
I think Chimay is pretty high on my list now. Red label, eh?

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Love the chart Bro!:tu

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

Yup , red label . You may be able to find the gift set that has 1 each of the 3 types and comes with a glass . Goes great with a full cigar . :ss

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

A gift set with a glass? I always get into trouble with those things :D

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

I went to the biggest, baddest, cheapest liquor store in the state and finally found Chimay...but $5.00 a 12oz bottle? Kind of hard for me. I opted for 4 pint cans of Old Speckled Hen, 4 pint cans of Young's Double Chocolate Stout, a 6-pack of Guiness Extra Stout, a 4-pack of Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout and a 6-pack of Oskar Blues Old Chub out of curiosity. The Young's is freaking awesome! Never had something like that, but it's delicious and perfect for the cold nights. Couldn't find a lot of my other wants or else they were too expensive for me right now, so that's why my haul doesn't reflect a lot of the suggestions. The hardest spend was the Samuel Smith...$7.99 for 4 12oz bottles? Wow, that's harsh. Fuller's ESB was like $12.99 for a 6-pack when I could get a 12-pack of Spaten Optimator for the same (and at almost twice the ABV :D). I plan to get the Spaten (the only doppelbock I could see at a good price) when I raise more money.

Any opinions on Tetley's English Ale, Wexton Irish Cream Ale and Belhaven Scottish Ale within what I've described as my taste? I saw these there and they tickled my British ale interest. I didn't like Boddington's Pub Ale much if that helps.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

If you didn't like Boddingtons you probably won't like Tetleys.

As to Scottish Ales, I prefer McEwan's to Belhaven, and if you like malty beers you'll love either of those.

Kind of curious as to the Wexton Irish Cream, but didn't want to pull the trigger. Too many bad college memories of genny creme out by me, :pu

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

A suggestion would be Red Hook Blonde.

I would suggest trying some Scotch Ales and Oatmeal Stouts.

Re: Beers for the Non-Hopwhore
 

I wouldn't recommend Hoegaarden if you don't like Blue Moon. They are both Belgian White beers (even though Blue Moon is domestic to the US), basically a very pale wheat beer.

My suggestions are:

Carlsberg - Danish all-malt lager

Foster's Lager - Australia


Molson's Golden Ale- Canada

Grolsch - The "other" beer from Holland

Shiner also makes a good line of beers if they are available in your area.