I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

So my 7 year old son plays coach pitch baseball and we were at a tourney game a few nights ago. We get to the field and he says he doesn't feel well. I tell him he is fine (think he is bluffing) and to go out there and play ball that his team depends on him. Well, I basically forced him to play baseball in the first place but I think it is good for him (interaction, play with others). The thing that bothers me is he half-asses it...won't go after the ball...won't swing the bat hard...no hustle. I have been working with him and he is getting better. Back to the game...he gets up to bat (they get 7 pitches) and strikes out 2 of the 3 times at bat...on the final time up to bat he hits it barely and is tagged out. So the other team wins (no big deal) but I feel my son was just being lazy. I tell him I love him and all I want is for him to try his best. So we go home and he goes to bed saying he doesn't feel well...turns out later that night he is running a 104 temp...F@&K! So for the past few days he has been sick.....I feel like an ass. :(

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Yikes man....

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Man that stuff happens. I have done the same thing with my nephew, trying to get him to understand that he is supposed to try your hardest. As far as the sick thing, dont feel bad, it is so hard to tell when a kid is sick. He will be fine...I wouldnt beat yourself up over it...those things happen!

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

So now ya go tell him you love him and take care of him while he's sick.
It doesn't hurt to ask him to forgive you for bein' an ass, either.
And then you repeat the cycle for the rest of their lives. :)

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

:tpd:

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Yeah...I keep telling him I love him...still feel like a jerk. He is such a good kid...very polite...probably too polite. Example, played soccer since he was 4 and no hustle...wouldn't take the ball away from anyone/wouldn't go after it...basketball was the same type deal...baseball he is getting better at hitting and catching but won't go after the ball....signed him up for football in the fall as I figured he just needs a little fire in him. I am there for every practice/game encouraging...not expecting greatness just effort. I hope I didn't make a mistake signing him up for football.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Maybe baseball just isn't his bag. Have you tried talking with him? Maybe he likes basketball or soccer. If he likes video games make a deal with him, He gets x amount of video game time, but he has to do x amount of outdoor physical activity. Try to participate with him. That way he gets time with you and you get to monitor him. Just my :2.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Hey,

If you're like me, it won't be the last time you'll make an a$$ of yourself. The important thing is he knows you love him (obviously he does).

Oh, and as one of my Marine buddies says "keep moving".

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

I hope your boy gets to feeling better. Gota ask though oin the sports thing, his desires or yours being fullfilled here? I too as a kid was pushed into sports. Just wasn't and still isn't me. I didn't mind being out side doing stuff, but I'm no jock. At some point in conversation with him, figure out what his intrests are. Might be a mutual point in the middle you can reach.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Oh yeah, totally I participate! I have to make him go outside to play basketball, throw or bat ball, or kick a soccer ball. The thing is he doesn't want to do anything but watch TV or play videogames. I don't get it. He has a new bike he doesn't ride, never wants to go outside to do much of anything. I was outside all the time when I was his age doing stuff. I refuse to let him be a couch potato...I do play video games with him and watch his shows but must force him to go outdoors. I think part of it is we don't have any boys on the street for him to interact with...that's why I thought sports would be beneficial, oh and boyscouts too. Am I wrong for making him do this stuff? He doesn't really love any of it but I think the social interaction is important. He is a very happy and good kid otherwise...does very well in school.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

IMO it's OK to push him a little, it helps kids grow -- but at the same time don't push too hard or as an adult he will resent you for it.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

We let the boys play whatever they wanted. Only deal was, once you start a season, you finish the season. Went through soccer, tee-ball, football and indoor roller hockey. One season each (and they were not happy about finishing the season in a couple of those).

Ice hockey they loved and still do.

I'm big on effort as well. That's all I ever asked of the boys.


Just remember that if he enjoys what he's doing the effort is there. If he doesn't.....well, kids are no different than us in that regard.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Post of the day :tu

I have 5 kids and they are all Soooooo different. 1 is very physical, athletic, and 1 on the other end of the scale will break if the wind blows. Sports teach many great traits, but so does band, choir, acting etc. One child played the sax and one the violin. The devotion, work ethic and devotion it took to play those instruments was equal too if not more than that of the "joc".

Talk to your son, tell him you want to help him be a better man and ask him how you can do it. At that age don't be afraid to have those conversations. You will be amassed at how kids that age know what they want. If they know in their heart you will support them they will open up and tell you.

:2

Good luck,
Chas

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Man I hope he doesn't resent me...My dad always worked so I was never forced to do anything...so I basically didn't and have regrets...kinda living through my son I guess.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Just tell him to pretend the other kids are you and go knock the crap out of 'em...that is if he's not happy with you for making him do it.

Maybe you get him involved in a scholastic type of event??? Knowing how to hit a baseball, but not being great at it won't do too much in the long run. Being able to do calc or trig in your head can pay the bills. :2

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

I pushed my son too hard as a young one. It took a long time to heal the wounds. Now, as a 15-year-old he's found that basketball is his passion and needs no pushing. He still has issues playing hard for coaches and teams he doesn't like and I know exactly where he gets it from! I do believe they need a push sometimes and sometimes you just have to let them find their own way. It's a very deilcate balance that I think parents have to learn as they go. There's no manual for it.

MCS

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

I am looking forward to the day he has a music class...hoping maybe he will pick something up. There were some acting classes but he is so shy and didn't want to do it. I am not looking for a jock in my son just for him to try. I talk to him all the time (does he listen, not sure). Just needs to find his thing (whatever that may be) I guess.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Man you said it! Delicate balance is right! I am glad I brought this up...it is interesting seeing the varying viewpoints.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

I wonder if its simply a trust issue at this time. If so, don't fret it. If you have always pushed a direction he does not want to go, he may be reluctant to tell you how he really feels. No different than you telling your boss for a year how to do something better and he refuses to listen and keeps doing it his way. Eventually you just stop telling him and do it his way, without enthusiasm and passion. Keep at it dad, hes worth it :tu

Chas

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

You bet he is! I live for my kids! And your boss analogy is dead on!

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Meanie

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

I would ask him if this is really what he wants, If he doesn't or didn't want to play, you should not sign him up. We had an instance in our family where my uncle who was ultra successful in everything he did, sports, business, etc. He tried to push these same things on my cousin and while their details are no ones business, I will tell you that it has ended in disaster. Let your kid be a kid and do what he wishes. It seems that he has developed a lot of great qualities so far that will help him much more in life than sacking the quarterback or making a diving catch.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

My daughter is 6 and we tried the soccer thing last year. She loves being outside and really got into the gear, but once on the field it was pretty much over. She's also a bit "too" polite, and didn't want anything to do with being aggressive. We tried to push her a little (myself more than the wife of course), but in the end soccer just wasn't her thing. Kids have a lot more opportunities and endeavors thrown their way then we did. I have to remind myself of that, and remember to let her forge her own path instead of just following mine.



I hope your boy feels better soon!

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Maybe I will revisit the football thing...but how do you know they won't like it if they don't try it?

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Soccer was brutal! I don't make him do that anymore. He is feeling much better today! Thanks!

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Other than apologizing, I would just give him a bit of space. Being a kid is basically finding out what you like. I remember when I was younger, and all I really was into was basketball, tennis, and computers. My Dad still pushed me into little league, despite me not being able to hit or throw lol.

Still hate thinking of those days, as it was a chore just going out there to have him disappointed in how I played. Blah. Anyway, just try to get to know what his interests are, and if at this point it is too early, just try to do things with him (hockey, basketball, tennis, tap/ballet :D hehe, etc).

He might be bitter about being sick and you pushing him, but apologizing goes a long way, and you have already done that. Sounds like you are on the right track on all fronts, so kudos. :)

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Ok, I was on board until you said tap/ballet! :r

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

f he is resistant to the idea and says he doesn't want to play, than he probably won't like it.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Great info here. Been going through the same thing with T ball. I feel like I could have started this thread.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

What if what he wants is to dance. What if he tries it and loves it. If you try to reject it because you don't like the activity, you will only push him away. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who was entirely on the music/artistic side of things as a kid/young adult and wish my parents had at least tried some activities on the athletic side with me.

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Bomb catcher.

MCS

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

As a mother, what I have learned from raising my kids. The best thing you can do is talk to them. My favorite talk time is in the car on the way to somewhere when no one is there. I seem to get better answers and it is harder to be ignored when you control the radio. :)

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

As a parent of multiple children I loved car rides. The kids when they were younger (up to about the teens) often talked to one another like we weren't even there. It was almost like they figured we were driving so we cant be listening.

I found out so much about my kids by just being quiet on long car rides and listening.

Chas

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Just to toss in my 2 cents - I'm a firm believer in letting kids decide what they want to do without pushing into what I (or any parent) want them to do.

So what if he doesn't like those sports - there are a ton of other things to explore. What kind of TV shows and video games does he like? Might be a clue. If he likes video games where he gets to kick some butt - maybe some form of martial arts is in line. He won't be in direct competition to start and can move along at his pace. Racing videos - build a go-kart together - he could be the next Richard Petty.

Get him a decent camera - great excuse to go hiking and camping for photo shots. And don't laugh at dancing, gymnastics, swimming, etc - it all keeps him active. I have two small nieces that love to go rock climbing - builds strength, physically and mentally. Paintball! Now there is a workout! You know - just look for those non-traditional (big 3 sports) things to do - you just never know.

And how about bowling? Go to any bowling center and they will have sign up sheets for various leagues: kids only and parent/kids leagues. That was the key to my daughters and I. My oldest has kept at it and last year at the Virginia State Women's tourney placed a first, two seconds and a fourth.

There is something out there . . .

As for the sick not sick thing - hey - your t-shirt is in the mail. As parents we have all been there and done that.

Good luck -


Ron

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

Great post Ron. I like the suggestions you included of things to do! I will keep this in mind when I have a kid (poor thing):r

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

As long as you show your love and keep his best interests at heart...you'll be fine dad!!!

Re: I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.
 

:tu