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Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
no. 10
no real aroma from the stick, faint grass on the predraw draw is pretty tight, has ok flavors, light spice with a sweet kint on the finish. tastes like dry tobacco...little pepper replaced the spice though, still tight as heck... it's not a terrible cigar... though the draw is making it a bitz.... I smoked it about half way through when my jaw started to hurt. I might smoke one again if given to me, though would rather now. If the draw was better it might be a different story. no. 13 This thing looks to have delevoped a box press look. It's tigher than a **** anyways, I cut it and was surprised by the draw, it's actually quite looose, almost too loose. I'm getting a black pepper in the back of my throat though on the predraw... kind of scarry.. Cap has a crack in it...so I have to spit tobacco... lighting up I a mouth full of musty/moldy flavor and a cup full of pepper. This is quite terrible... a ton of smoke... I'm starting to get sick and it's only an half inch into the cigar.... I tuffed it out for another inch and I have developed a headache. My mouth is burning with pepper with a moldy food flavor. Please save these only for those you hate. I tossed the stick at roughly 2 inches smoked. I'm sorry but it's just that bad. |
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Can't believe only 3 left...I'm blessed!
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no. 14
Smells like dry tobacco. Tastes like dry hay and a little spoiled. As the cigar approaches 1.5 inches it's developing a dusty flavor... Ok so I decided to drink a coke with this... it's improving the flavor. Something of dust, very dry hay and I guess you can call it sour. Something that makes your face scrunch up and go YUCK! There is a spice after effect ,and strange, only while drawing, when the smoke hits your tongue it's almost a pleasant flavor, then it's quickly overshadowed with the nastness that makes you want to bite off the tip of your tongue so your death will come quickly. This cigar is an occidental reserve, whatever the hell that is... it should be accidental reserve... because it's bad.... My thought is some company made this to see how it was, it sucked, so they sold them to stores as a "house brand" You have worse in that bundle, though this deserves to be with them. |
Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
no. 15
Band says 777, I believe it says By. Jesus Fuego on there... so it's gotta be good. It's a black cigar, smells great, a sweet tobacco smell. Prelight draw there is a faint taste of tobacco and black liccorice taste. Lighting it up, it's not bad...spicy, and a bitter taste, tons of smoke, and a unpleasant heartburn flavor after. This continued until my throat is feeling like I just drank a bottle of hot sauce.... I had to put this stick down half way..I need ice cream to put this fire out. |
Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
Aww man, I'm way behind. OK...
I did smoke #9 last weekend. I was waiting for HK3 to email me the pics but oh well. #9 was honestly not a bad smoke. Mild, decent flavor, didn't smell like burning garbage. I would not consider Dog Rocket #9 to be a dog rocket. Dog Rocket #10 From Silound's description: Ok, another “no-clue” bundle. Something from Cigar Connection in Florida that costs $11 a bundle….4 years ago. 4 years has done nothing but improve these cigars….improve how badly they taste. My take: A toro sized cigar, deep brown wrapper with a few spots but not a bad looking stick. Well rolled too. Pre-light draw is faint hay and tobacco. First few draws are sweet and woody. Not bad, BUT I am not getting my hopes up. The cigar is heavy and has a perfect draw. About 2" in and this cigar is not bad so far. On the mild side, a bit of spice and a woodsy flavor. The aroma coming from the foot is nice. About halfway through and doing fine. The dominant flavor is still woodsy but with an earthy finish. If I had to guess I would say that this cigar is Honduran. The burn is a little crooked but not bad. Man, I nubbed this thing. Not a dog rocket by a long shot IMO. :ss |
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I'm diggin this thread. Almost 2100 views so far, obviously this is quality entertainment :)
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Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
Dog Rocket #11
From Silound's description: Another “your guess is as good as mine” cigar. My take: A churchill sized cigar with what appears to be a Connecticut wrapper. Heavy in the hand and well rolled. Pre-light draw is faint tobacco and hay. Draw is perfect. First few draws were NOT good. :( A stale, mildewy flavor. Dammit, why did this cigar have to be so big? This is at least 1 hour of punishment. As I typed that last sentence, the flavor improved somewhat. Settled into a typical cheap Connecticut wrap bundle cigar flavor. I LOVE mild Connecticut wrap cigars, but this one so far is almost too mild. This cigar reminds me of several Finck Cigar house brands, really mild, not good and not bad but definitely not worth buying again. About 1" in, same story. Super mild with only a tiny bit of flavor in the nose exhale. Not a bad cigar so to speak. I guess NO flavor is better than BAD flavor! :r About 2" in....same old same old. This would be a good cigar for a girl, or someone who has never smoked a cigar before. This thing is milder than a Macanudo. About halfway....WOW this cigar is BORING. And this coming from a guy who loves mild cigars! Smoking this thing is like smoking warm air. It does smell good though. :) With about 2" left, I gotta toss this cigar. I'm afraid I will fall asleep while smoking it and start a fire. Conclusion: Not a dog rocket only because it had NO flavor. |
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Sorry for not emailing the pictures Mark. :( |
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I should have done a review of the Thompson cigar I tried to smoke right after. THAT was a dog rocket! :r |
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Thank you, brothers, for your service to our little community. |
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:tpd:
oh lord, this is so funny... it makes me laugh every time i open this thread and start to read it... i would like to :salute: you guys for taking this job in the name of cigar science:D greets tjeerd |
Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
well I smoked the last one.. WOOT!!!
no. 16 This cigar was a bigger RG maybe 52-54. It has no real aroma to it, tastes like a summer dry grass. Light it up, and it's not bad. Average or slightly less than on the dan scale. I don't care for it, though I'll smoke it. I can see newbies buying these, I'd wager they sell for 3-5 a stick at a B&M. As the cigar burns down, I start to have smoke issues, it started off with a load of smoke, but then wittled down to just a little, maybe 1/4 to what it was. There are no burn issues, not much flavor, just a light tobacco flavor, barely leathery. The void of other flavors is disturbing, comforting, and yet what I expected. At least I don't taste crap, or something else nasty. Cigar got down to about 1/3 left and really hasn't changed much. I was hoping this last one would be a final hurah! But there's nothing of note that I can say than it's just a blah cigar. Something you might smoke if you don't care if you throw it out or if it gets wet...ie smoking in the rain. Dude... I'm so happy to be done with this. I don't have to open my humi anymore and feal for my life. There's nothing to keep me from opening up the humi anymore... I'd deliberatly avoid opening it to see what was inside. OH CRAP! I said I'd try no. 17 if that ever came around.... *sigh* we'll see..... @#$%@#$%$#% |
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hahahhah, instant classic :usa |
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Well, number 17 is still.....fermenting? so it will be at least a week or two before it gets out to you :r |
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O that dont sound good......
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I tip my hat to all of you. This thread has had some of the best entertainment that I have seen in a long time. Thank goodness that I have spare keyboards after reading some of this stuff.:ss
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lets give Silound the rep he deserves as the king of nastiness!
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Aww dammit...I started out way ahead and Dan ends up beating me to the finish line. :(
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OK, here we go.
Dog Rocket #12 From Silound's description: Cuvee Blanc from the DR. Biggest disappointment ever to me, because I’ve had a decent Cuvee in the past. Worst branded cigar I’ve had in ages. My take: A big solomon-sized cigar with what appears to be a Connecticut wrapper. A nice looking cigar, really, though I am more of a "traditionalist" when it comes to cigar shapes. I tend to pass on the funny looking cigars. :D Pre-light draw is leather and tobacco. First few draws are not bad at all. Fairly typical flavor for a mild Connecticut wrap cigar. One of the reasons I pass on funny shaped cigars is that from my experience they are more prone to burn problems, and this one is no different. Burning crooked right from the start. The wrapper is splitting ahead of the burn too. Out of curiousity I looked up this line of cigars, specifically this cigar, and found that it sells for around $11 per stick. If I pay that much money for something I'm going to light on fire, it had better perform flawlessly, and the Cuvee Blanc Salomon gets a big FAIL. The wrapper has now fully exploded, so much that the binder is bulging out. Surprisingly though the burn is no longer crooked! :tu About 2" in....flavor-wise, a big "meh". I've smoked Dominican bundle cigars that tasted better than this. Flavor is mild and kinda flat. Whoever came up with this blend should be ashamed of themselves. It's pretty hard to f**k up a mild Connecticut wrap cigar, but the Cuvee Blanc manages to do it. I can think of at least a dozen cigars that offer a similar but better flavor profile at a fraction of the price of this stogie-log. Rather than spending $11 on this big air stick I could buy 5 Flor de Oliva Golds and they are a better cigar! :r Holy crap! While I was talking smack, the burn line passed the huge split and now the cigar is looking and burning normally. Too bad it didn't improve the flavor. Still not much flavor, no depth or dimension, just warm smoke and a teeny bit of nuttiness in the nose exhale. A little more than halfway through, the cigar picks up a little flavor. A flavor of burning paper! :D Wow, I can't believe how quickly this thing turned from flavorless to awful. Burning paper in the nose exhale with a finish of BITTER. It is leaving a bitter aftertaste. Yuck! I will try a flame purge. WOW...usually a flame purge will get rid of some bitterness and sometimes improve the flavor of a cigar. It had the OPPOSITE effect on this one. Now it tastes worse! :( This cigar is a joke. I made it down to about 2" before tapping out. Conclusion: Dog Rocket for sure. If I shelled out $11 for this, it would make me want to poop in a box, put the cigar band on the turd, and send it to the manufacturer. |
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Now my colleagues are giving me strange looks and wondering how health policy analysis could be so funny! |
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Mark, I gotta hand it to you. Not many people think of defecating in a shoebox and mailing it to cigar manufacturers :r Anyway, Glad you got the same disappointment I did for such a craptacular cigar :) |
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Dog Rocket #13 Woohoo! I'm in the home stretch! :D
From Silound's description: Bahia Seconds. Something I found at the B&M and bought foolishly thinking they would age to be something decent. My take: A box-pressed robusto sized cigar with an ugly wrapper covered with blemishes. OK, this cigar STINKS. It smells like an old pair of boots that was left in a mildewy basement for 10 years. Pre-light draw is OMFG NASTY. Imagine picking up said pair of mildewy boots and sucking on them. While toasting the foot I can already tell I am in for some punishment. This thing is throwing off the most awful stench. First few draws are OMFG NASTY. This is, without a doubt, the WORST of the bunch so far. I literally almost gagged on the first draw. I'm NOT exaggerating. :( I just realized that this is the first Bahia cigar I've ever smoked. Words cannot describe how awful this cigar tastes. It doesn't even taste like tobacco. It's a sort of sour mildewy leather taste. The aroma coming from the foot is a familiar one. I smelled it in another one of Silound's "cigars"; the aroma of scorched urine. Burn and draw are perfect. :tu I would not even give one of these cigars to someone I don't like. That's how bad it is. Not even a bum would smoke one of these. I made it about 1.5". I surrender. I can't do it. What a disgusting....thing. I can't even call it a cigar. A strawberry blunt would taste better than this thing. I'm going to snuff this thing out in water and tear it apart to see if I find any rubber bands or human hair in it. Conclusion: Dog Rocket. The worst of the bunch so far. :pu |
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"OMFG NASTY"
:r:r:r |
Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
Dog Rocket #14
From Silound's description: Occidental Reserve. These aren’t exactly dog rockets, but they’re far from my list of good smokes. My take: A robusto sized cigar with a decent looking Connecticut wrapper. This line of cigars seems to be fairly popluar. I've seen them at many a B&M and often see them on C-Bid. I've tried the Maduro wrap version of this cigar and did NOT like it. Pre-light draw is a VERY strong hay flavor. First few draws are quite grassy with a sour aftertaste. Not good. :( At about 1/2" the flavor is a little less objectionable but still not good at all. If I had bought this cigar I would have tossed it by now. At around 1"...man this cigar is not good. It's not the worst cigar I've ever tried by a long shot, but it just doesn't taste and smell good. Still a strong hay flavor on the draw, woodsy through the nose, with a finish kinda like rancid butter. It is cigars like this one that make people shy away from low priced bundle cigars. About halfway...about the same. I will get 1 or 2 draws that are not bad then a few sour ones. Finish is still sour and the aftertaste is quite bitter. Smoked it to about 2" and tossed it. Conclusion: I totally agree with Silound's description. Not exactly a dog rocket, but far from a good cigar. |
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This is by far the funniest post I've seen on CA. I read this entire thread and I can't wait for the next review. Keep them coming. |
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I have this thread sent to me everytime there is a new review and have enjoyed it since the very first post. I congratulate you guys for taking one for the Asylum Team and the reviews have been hilarious to say the least. Thanks for the laughs and all the entertainment value,,,oh, also thanks for letting me know what cigars to NEVER buy!
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I love borndead1's reviews.... unfortunately for him I am hoping that his remaining sticks get progressively worse, because it seems the worse the cigar is, the funnier the reviews get and you get some really colourful yet coarse metaphors. :r :r :r
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aww crap, borndead gets all the props, guess I should give it up being a reviewer... at least in the winter...
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Gonna do the last 2 this weekend. :ss
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Bet you can't wait for this to be finished :dr:dr |
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Glad I finished it... just gotta get a little care package for Silound up and about one of these days...
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Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to do a little "send off" for the last 2 dog rockets and I don't have a camera. So I had my girlie take some pics. They are small pics, but you don't want the full sized ones. Trust me.
http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/e...dogrockets.jpg http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/e...dogrocket2.jpg http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/e...dogrocket3.jpg http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/e...belonghere.jpg Both of these cigars SUCKED. The 777 tasted like a skunk smells. Yuck! And then we have the Flor de Gerard. WTF kind of name is that for a cigar? The FDG was one of the nastiest dog rockets of the bunch. Tasted like moldy hay rolled in newspaper. Just for kicks, I am posting a pic of my alter-ego: Thugmasta Stogiedawg! http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/e...astogiedog.jpg Silound: I don't know what to say, brother. I can't bring myself to THANK you for subjecting me to this macabre experiment, so I will just say, "Yeah." |
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Glad you guys enjoyed the fun!
Each of you PM me and tell me what kind of goodies you want sent in your prize package :r -Adam |
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I'm sad to see this one end.
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Oh man those last two reviews were off the chain! :r
Those pictures for your review Mark are piceless! :r:r:r ...I mean Thugmasta Stogiedawg! :tu |
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I'd like to summarize this experience for you...
After smoking all of these dog rockets labeled as such by Silound, I really have tasted something that is bad. I went into this with an honest opinion, I thought our friend would fake us out by putting some good sticks in here, so I gave each one a fair shot before reading what it was. I know there is power to the band. I've tested this myself with cremosa's.... The same people who have tried them when I brought them to various herfs who said they were nasty, when it was banded as a punch black prince cuban said it was good. I try to be non biased and let the flavor be the judge. In the case of these cigars I found a few that to me might be worth smoking again. The majority wouldn't. Mostly it was the harshness and common flavor that left just a bad taste in your mouth. Most commonly a sour flavor that you would get from food products that are well past their prime. It was an experience I think everyone should have, maybe not to such the degree it was taken here, though it does help to give perspective. Hell I smoke backwoods and I admit it. Not all the time, but I have a pack in my truck just in case. It's not a great smoke but it's not terrible either. Anyways going back to these cigars. When you smoke something that is bad, you are giving it an honest shot you will notice the foul flavor on your palette, it's just something that does not agree with you. The old saying "Smoke what you like" is totally true. Borndead had found a few cigars he enjoyed, some of those I thought were just as bad as most of these, and visa versa. Take away knowing that not all dog rockets are bad, the taste is in the mouth and nose of the beholder. Remember the nose exhale, it bring flavors to what would be a crap cigar otherwise. And try not to let others influence your decision if something is good or not. For you a 99 cent Garcia Vega might taste as good as a 99 dollar dunhill. Silound I want that number 17 dog rocket you promised lol. |
Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
My final thoughts/ramblings/emotional outbursts:
I know this sounds cheesy, but I think I have a truly refined palate. What I mean by that is when I smoke a cigar, I smoke THE CIGAR. Not the ratings, the band, the hype, the name, the price, etc. If you offered me a La Floridita and a La Flor Dominicana, I would smoke the La Floridita because I like the flavor more than LFDs. I love both CCs and NCs. I couldn't imagine smoking only 1 or the other. When I finally got to smoke an Oliva V maduro I was disappointed. I wouldn't buy Padron 80th even if they were $10 a stick. With that in mind, the vast majority of Silound's..."cigars" were indeed what I would consider dog rockets. One odd thing though -- most of them were very well constructed. I found it strange. Like getting a $1,000 paint job on a Ford Pinto. Many of the cigars had a flavor that I have come to recognize as poor quality tobacco. Some, like the Occidental Reserve, were just lousy blends. Makes me wonder why anyone would put so much time, effort, money into making so many BAD cigars. Yeah, yeah, taste is subjective, but in the case of some of these cigars an argument could be made against that idea. Whenever I smoke a truly nasty cigar, it makes me wonder: Is there no Quality Control in these cigar factories? How do the farmers/rollers/factory owners smoke these cigars and determine they are good enough for anything other than compost? Are there infamous "dog rocket factories" that produce nothing but crap sticks like Cremosas, Thompson brands, etc.? I dunno man...I dunno. Cigars never cease to amaze me. |
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the
only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house. They betray an unmanly terror when I offer them a cigar; they tell lies and hurry away to meet engagements which they have not made when they are threatened with the hospitalities of my box. Now then, observe what superstition, assisted by a man's reputation, can do. I was to have twelve personal friends to supper one night. One of them was as notorious for costly and elegant cigars as I was for cheap and devilish ones. I called at his house and when no one was looking borrowed a double handful of his very choicest; cigars which cost him forty cents apiece and bore red-and-gold labels in sign of their nobility. I removed the labels and put the cigars into a box with my favorite brand on it--a brand which those people all knew, and which cowed them as men are cowed by an epidemic. They took these cigars when offered at the end of the supper, and lit them and sternly struggled with them--in dreary silence, for hilarity died when the fell brand came into view and started around--but their fortitude held for a short time only; then they made excuses and filed out, treading on one another's heels with indecent eagerness; and in the morning when I went out to observe results the cigars lay all between the front door and the gate. All except one--that one lay in the plate of the man from whom I had cabbaged the lot. One or two whiffs was all he could stand. He told me afterward that some day I would get shot for giving people that kind of cigars to smoke. Am I certain of my own standard? Perfectly; yes, absolutely --unless somebody fools me by putting my brand on some other kind of cigar; for no doubt I am like the rest, and know my cigar by the brand instead of by the flavor. ~Mark Twain |
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I do so enjoy Mark Twain!:r
My favored quote "I fear him to be ECONOMICAL with the truth":tu |
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A bump from the depths for a serious question...
Did the victims...errrrr...challengers ever get their "prize"? I'm curious to know what they got for their pain (and our enjoyment)... |
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I never heard what kind of prize they wanted. My original idea was a box of Imperials I've had sitting for a long time.
Mark, Dan; either of you have a particular request? :) If I don't hear from you guys by the end of the month, I'm sending those Imperials. Edit to add, I found out the Occidental Reserve is a Davidoff blend! Jeesh.... |
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poor occidental reserve..... ummmmmm no idea what an imperial is... I was happy just doing the reviews.
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It's cool though. It was fun writing the reviews. Smoking the cigars? Eh, not so much. |
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Ok, I just got a few more in, so I'll tag that into your package.
Gonna try and get them shipped out asap, provided I can get some free time. :) |
Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge!
Is this finished?
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