Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

My butt itches.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Tighter than a virgin on prom night

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Sweating like a whore in Church

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

"Gone like a Homecoming Queens virginity on Prom night"

My Dad also loves to say, "I wouldn't **** you, you're my favorite turd."

This thread brings a lot of memories up :tu

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

I don't know whether to sh1t or wind my watch.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

About as funny as a fart at a funeral.

He dropped a proverbial turd in the punch bowl.

You're rude and unattractive.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

LOL @ #3


Bout as funny as a heart attack.
Doesn't know his ass from his elbow.
Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Put the shovel down, Chief.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

This isn't Rocket surgery.

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Favorite :tu

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Had a shop teacher that used several, but one that remains:

Roller skating with a heard of water buffalo

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

you don't know ch!t from shinola

don't go gallivanting off now

put that in your pipe and smoke it

caviar dreams on a fishmongers wage

he went ash over tea kettle

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

I just say: Off, like a prom dress.

I also like "Crap-tacular".

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

A couple of my dad's favorites.

That'll put lead in your pencil.
You're full of piss and vinegar.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Had our weekly men's meeting last night and I actually paid attention to what was being said. Tons of them thrown out.

First off talking about Viagra prescriptions (one of the guys HAD to elaborate) -
Hard as ten dollars worth of jawbreakers.
So hard a cat couldn't scratch it.
Couldn't turn the skin on it with a Sears wrench.

Others:
Happy as a mule eating briars.
Gotta pi$$ like a Russian racehorse.
Happy as a clam at high tide.
$20? I'd pay $20 to see a monkey f*ck a football.
Whip you like a red-headed stepchild.
So hungry I could the a$$ out of a Raggedy Ann Doll.
Does a cat have a climbing gear?
If? If my aunt had nuts she'd be my uncle.

Also the word $hit has tons of meanings:
Dumb as...
Hot as...
Cold as...
Drunk as...
The list goes on and on.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

So hungry I could eat the a$$ out of a dead horse.

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So hungry I could eat the south end of a north bound cow.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Pissing up a rope.
Frogstrangler outside (raining hard)
Raining like pouring pi$$ out of a boot on a flat rock.
Can't find his a$$ with both hands.
Weak as a kitten.
You might? Mites are on a chicken's a$$.

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Not the brightest bulb on the tree.

Uglier than a bag of farts.

I use this one all the time with my daughter.

"You're so pretty"

Re: Everyday colloquialisms
 

Sweating like a whore in church