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-   -   I need girl help please! (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=16901)

Rabidsquirrel 06-12-2009 03:34 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaKaacH (Post 420951)
farted whenever he wanted.
Being married is supposed to stop that?

I guess I've been doing it wrong. :r

TanithT 06-12-2009 04:11 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaKaacH (Post 420951)
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and smoked really expensive cigars in the house and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
So if you want to have all this AND get laid regularly, make sure that anyone you marry shares your favorite hobbies and is also cool enough to be okay with the ones you don't share.

About the toilet seat, I can't help you. Guys have no idea how distressing it is to stumble to the potty in the middle of the night, half asleep in the dark, and sit down with an unexpected splash. Separate bathrooms will solve the issue, or installing a urinal. But having my toilet set up for my anatomical configuration is a non negotiable. You're perfectly welcome to have your own toilet, but leave mine with the seat down or else. And by "or else" I mean that when I come back from the bathroom with my ass cold and disgustingly dripping because you left the seat up and didn't flush, I will sit on you. You have been warned. :D

I do however love fishing and hunting and cigars. I don't care much for golf but I'll happily smoke your expensive cigars while you are playing. :ss

PS - if you fart, I'll probably light it with my torch and laugh my ass off. :r

The Poet 06-12-2009 04:14 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
You will sit on me? Promise?

csbrewfisher 06-12-2009 04:14 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TanithT (Post 421118)
About the toilet seat...
Will you please put it back up when you're finished?

TanithT 06-12-2009 04:25 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Poet (Post 421125)
You will sit on me? Promise?
Not unless you're proposing to marry me. In which case, please send pictures. Of your humidors, that is. :r

The Poet 06-12-2009 04:29 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Ahhhh, you're no fun. ;)

BrokenSkeg 06-12-2009 10:40 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TanithT (Post 421118)
So if you want to have all this AND get laid regularly, make sure that anyone you marry shares your favorite hobbies and is also cool enough to be okay with the ones you don't share.
Having different interests is totally cool. She likes to cook, I like to grill and burn food. She likes being a vegitarian, I like beef. I smoke cigars, she doesn't. I drink scotch, she drinks wine.

The only hobby of mine she doesn't like is me watching other pretty women. I believe she'd rather castrate me than allow that to happen when she's around. What was it that Carter said?
"Ok to lust in your mind?" ummm not so much.:confused:

kugie 06-12-2009 11:05 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Step up be a man

Hold on wife is calling
Me: Yes dear
her: What did you Say!?
me: I'm taking out the trash
Her: Good!

As i Was saying ya gotta step up show her who's boss

She's calling, gotta go
Plase please Please don't tell her I said this

GTCanuk 06-13-2009 06:51 AM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
What happens when you put the lid down too?


Quote:
Originally Posted by TanithT (Post 421118)
So if you want to have all this AND get laid regularly, make sure that anyone you marry shares your favorite hobbies and is also cool enough to be okay with the ones you don't share.

About the toilet seat, I can't help you. Guys have no idea how distressing it is to stumble to the potty in the middle of the night, half asleep in the dark, and sit down with an unexpected splash. Separate bathrooms will solve the issue, or installing a urinal. But having my toilet set up for my anatomical configuration is a non negotiable. You're perfectly welcome to have your own toilet, but leave mine with the seat down or else. And by "or else" I mean that when I come back from the bathroom with my ass cold and disgustingly dripping because you left the seat up and didn't flush, I will sit on you. You have been warned. :D

I do however love fishing and hunting and cigars. I don't care much for golf but I'll happily smoke your expensive cigars while you are playing. :ss

PS - if you fart, I'll probably light it with my torch and laugh my ass off. :r

Rabidsquirrel 06-13-2009 01:23 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
I think women fail to realize that they do indeed have arms, and said arms are quite capable of lowering the seat themselves.

kelmac07 06-13-2009 02:43 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tobii3 (Post 420798)
1. Crying is blackmail.

2. Anything we said more than 12 hours ago is inadmissible in a court of law.

3. We don't complain about the seat being down. Why do they complain about it being up?

4. She has too many shoes

5. She has too many purses

6. If you don't want to hear the answer you already know, don't ask the question. (i.e. does this make me look fat?)

7. We have three emotions. Happy, Horny and Hungry. That's it.

Any more advice needed???
Do not forget..."Babe, you are NOT fat!"

TanithT 06-13-2009 03:28 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabidsquirrel (Post 422325)
I think women fail to realize that they do indeed have arms, and said arms are quite capable of lowering the seat themselves.
Guys have arms too. At least I hope you guys do, because otherwise cigar smoking is gonna be tough. :D

smokeyandthebandit05 06-15-2009 12:24 AM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
So far Ive gotten some pretty good advice :tu

macpappy 06-15-2009 06:28 AM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by csbrewfisher (Post 421126)
Will you please put it back up when you're finished?
They yell at you when you don't put it back down but then they yell at you when you don't put it up. There is just no pleasing them...

smokeyandthebandit05 06-15-2009 07:28 AM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by macpappy (Post 423895)
They yell at you when you don't put it back down but then they yell at you when you don't put it up. There is just no pleasing them...

I think the only solution to the problem is to buy one of them automatic seats lol

http://www.plumbingsupply.com/automa...let-seats.html



----------------
Now playing: Kenny Chesney - Out Last Night
via FoxyTunes

ratpack 06-15-2009 07:33 AM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Oh brotha,

They are such a treat! Most of the time just let her think she is right. You and I both know, along with all of the other men out there, they try to gig us into some kind of ordeal and then we end up getting pissed. These creatures are trained from the day they get out of the womb to try and push the fellow man to his limits!! Have a drink and smoke one up tonight!

kugie 06-15-2009 06:10 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
I'll put the seat down if she puts it up.
It's a two way street

Starscream 06-15-2009 06:18 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by csbrewfisher (Post 420800)
Whatever you did, apologize.

Whatever you didn't do but she thinks you did, apologize.
:tpd:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaKaacH (Post 420951)
:D
World's shortest fairytale:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "No!"

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and smoked really expensive cigars in the house and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END
:dance:
Sounds like a perfect world!:tu

BUCASmoker 06-15-2009 06:26 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RGD. (Post 420721)
She is right - you are wrong. Anything else I can help with just let me know -



:ss


Ron
Truer words havent been spoken.

You may think otherwise, but she'll get her way eventually ;)

BUCASmoker 06-15-2009 06:36 PM
Re: I need girl help please!
 
When you hear, "Let's go for a drink", what do you think?

http://www.brandinfection.com/wp-con...me-600x425.jpg
http://www.toilette-humor.com/images...ials/beer2.jpg
And, more pertinent to the toilet conversation:
http://www.toilette-humor.com/images...ials/beer3.jpg


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